Page:Knight's Quarterly Magazine series 1 volume 3 (August–November 1824).djvu/160

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150
The Incognito; or, Count Fitz-Hum.

the anticipation of communicating so flattering a judgment to his corps; and his delight was not diminished by overhearing the words—“early promotion,” and “order of merit.” In the transports of his gratitude, he determined that the fourteen should fire a volley; but this was an event not to be accomplished in a hurry; much forethought and deep premeditation were required; a considerable “balance” of the gallant troops were not quite au fait in the art of loading, and a considerable “balance” of the musquets not quite au fait in the art of going off. Men and musquets being alike veterans, the agility of youth was not to be expected of them; and the issue was—that only two guns did actually go off. “But in commercial cities,” as the good-natured Count observed to his host, “a large discount must always be made on prompt payment.”


Breakfast was now over: the bells of the churches were ringing; the streets swarming with people in their holiday clothes; and numerous deputations, with addresses, petitions, &c., from the companies and guild of the city were forming into processions. First came the town-council with the chief burgomaster at their head: the recent order for the reduction of fees, &c., was naturally made the subject of a dutiful remonstrance; great was the joy with which the Count’s answer was received:—“On the word of a prince, he had never heard of it before: his signature must have been obtained by some court intrigue; but he could assure his faithful council that on his return to his capital his first care would be to punish the authors of so scandalous a measure; and to take such other steps, of an opposite description, as were due to the long services of the petitioners and to the honour and dignity of the nation.” The council were then presented seriatim, and had all the honour of kissing hands. These gentlemen having withdrawn, next came all the trading companies; each with an address of congratulation expressive of love and devotion, but uniformly bearing some little rider attached to it of a more exclusive nature. The tailors prayed for the general abolition of seamstresses, as nuisances and invaders of chartered rights and interests. The shoe-makers, in conjuction with the tanners and curriers, complained that providence had in vain endowed leather with the valuable property of perishableness—if the selfishness of the iron-trade were allowed to counteract this benign arrangement by driving nails into all men’s shoe-soles. The hair-dressers were modest, indeed too modest in their demands—confining themselves to the request that for the better encouragement of wigs a tax should be imposed on every man who wore his own hair, and that it should be felony for a gentleman to appear without powder.