Page:Lapsus Calami 1st Ed.djvu/88

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76

"That he's most inconsistent, I think you'll agree,
When he dares to assert it as true,
That the rudder gets mixed with the bowsprit at sea,
Or that birds can be salted in glue.

"The third is his manner of making a jest,
Which is quite and entirely his own,
And he seeks after witty remarks with a zest
That might find the philosopher's stone.

"The fourth is the way that he sticks to a word,
Such as beamish, galumph, and the rest,
Which he thinks is amusing as well as absurd,
An opinion I beg to contest.

"The fifth is pure folly. It now will be just
To describe each particular vein,
Distinguishing 'fits' which appal and disgust,
From 'fits' which are simply inane.

"For though much is as pointless as can be desired,
I'm exceedingly sorry to say
That Kenealy—" the critic abruptly retired,
For his audience had melted away.

Out of School at Eton.