Page:Newspaper writing and editing.djvu/141

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him. He had been holding on with one hand and holding an unconscious man on his perch with the other."

The Indrakuala is commanded by Capt. Smith, but the ship does not carry wireless and no statement from him was obtainable tonight.

According to the survivors, Capt. Gilbert and the first and second officers were standing on the bridge when the collision occurred. There was no opportunity to give alarm to those below.


7. What are the objections to the first paragraph as the beginning of the following story, and how can you improve it in rewriting?


About 5 o'clock yesterday morning a wagon load of thieves arrived in front of the tenement house at 841 Holton Place. Leaving one of their number to hold the horse, the others went to the roof of the house and thence to the loft building at 837 Holton Place, on the top floor of which are the store and show rooms of the International Jewelry Company, of which Henry Hertel is President. The thieves cut a big hole through the roof of that building and then with the aid of a rope ladder let themselves down into the show room, where they packed a dozen suitcases belonging to traveling salesmen with loot, the value of which Mr. Hertel last night estimated to be about $5,000.

The International Jewelry Company is wired everywhere with burglar alarms, but the directing mind of yesterday's theft evidently knew where all the wires were, for the hole was cut in one of the few places in the ceiling which had not been wired. After packing the suitcases the thieves retraced their steps over the roofs of 839 to 841 Holton Place, and then proceeding down the stairways of the tenement house, deposited the suitcases in the wagon and drove away.

The theft was discovered when the place was opened for business yesterday morning. An investigation was started, and tenants in 841 Holton Place told of seeing the wagon in front of that house at about 5 A.M. Detectives from the Reynolds Street Station are working on the case. So far they have reported no progress.