merable- embarrassments to him. Sensible people who hear him hold forth on his intimate relations with that august body, wonder why he is so fond of attending the bar of the Cock and Bottle, where he tipples and smokes with the jovial bagmen who use that famous hostelry. Still he goes down in Duffington “society.” Mrs. de Junket — whose mamma was a modiste, and who would turn up her nose at you and me if we had a modest establishment in the town, and would no more think of calling upon us than of leaving out the de before her name, though she’s no relation to the Devonshire Junkets — says that anybody can see that he is accustomed to the best society. She takes the pas of the doctors’ and attorneys' wives — who love her accordingly — so I suppose she knows.
If you wish to see Sham Swelldom in all its glory, go into a small country town — especially if it has sporting or electioneer propensities. Duffington will, I dare say, do as well as another; and Penn will give you a letter of introduction to Mrs. de Junket. Before you present it, walk up and down the High-street for an hour or two during the fashionable period of the afternoon; and, if possible, throw yourself frequently in the way of Mrs. de Junket, who will favour you with a good many stares, and gather up her daughters under her wing, so to speak, when she meets you, as she considers you a suspicious person. Do you I remember Mr. Spectator’s visit to Sir Roger, and how the country people regarded him?
“Such is the variety of opinions which are here entertained of me; so that I pass amongst some for a wizard, and among others as a murderer; and all this for no I other reason that I can imagine but because I do not hoot and halloa and make a noise.”
You would probably be regarded in the same light till you had obtained Mrs. de Junket’s protection and patronage.
The only good story I ever heard that little scoundrel Penn tell was about an incident which occurred at the Duffington hunt ball. He had gone down expressly for it, and put up at Mrs. de Junket’s, that they might go — a large party — together. After Penn had done his duty by the ladies of the house, he cast about for something new. In a corner of the room sat a middle-aged lady, with two very pretty daughters. Penn thought he would try his powers of fascination on one of them, and asked Mrs. de J. who they were?
“I am sure, I don’t know; they have been living here, in a beggarly little cottage, for the last year. I didn’t call upon them — several people have; but I know nothing about them. I believe their name is Harduppe.”
“Harduppe — why, of course! Pray, Mrs. de Junket, get some of your friends to introduce me.”
“Captain Penn! Whatever London manners may be, I expect my guests not to dance out of my own set; or, at least, not with people I know nothing of, and whom I have not called upon.”
“Called upon! Good gracious, Mrs. de Junket, do you know who they are? They are the mother and sisters of Jack Harduppe, of my regiment, who is heir to his uncle, Lord Grindstone. The old lord is a confounded old screw, and won’t allow him a sixpence. They are poorly off now; but when the old man drops, there will be cakes and ale.”
I believe Mrs. de J.’s face was a caution. Her “set” consisted of two “heavies,” on detachment in the town, the son of the County Court judge, Penn, a dancing curate, and two or three hangers-on — enough to make up the Lancers and quadrilles; for which purpose, with exquisite taste and good breeding, they monopolized the top of the room. Penn got his introduction easily enough. After his dance was finished, my lady wished to be introduced to the Harduppes, but Penn pleaded it was as her duty to call first.
She did, tw'o days afterwards, when Jack Harduppe happened to have been down to see his mother and sisters. Jack saw the cards, and enclosed them in a note to Mr. de Junket, saying there must have been some mistake, as he didn’t require his services at present.
Mr. de Junket is the gentleman who so kindly assists young and noble spendthrifts through their racing and monetary difficulties. During the process, a good deal of the money sticks to him — as it did to the measure of Cassim — and he has frequently complained of the severe and unmerited remarks made upon him by the various judges, both at common law and equity. This is the only connection with the aristocracy Mrs. de Junket has, that I know of.
