HAY FEVER
I do not wish the Kaiser ill,
I wish him nothing that would kill,
No bombs with neatness and dispatch
To wipe him from life's kaffe klatch;
No dagger thrust between his ribs,
That would destroy His Royal Nibs;
I would not have him swiftly die,
That's much too good for such a guy;
I only wish the Kaiser might
Hay Fever get and get it right!
I wish the Kaiser's royal nose
Might know the woes my poor nose knows;
I only wish his royal chest
Might always feel a sore distress,
As mine must feel until the day
October's frost shall come our way.
I wish the royal piece of cheese
Might be forever doomed to sneeze.
Death is too good for such a king,
Hay fever would be just the thing.
A pair of watery eyes and red,
An aching throat and fevered lips;
And then a nose that constant drips,
The wish for sleep, but all in vain;
To end one cough to cough again,
