sorrow of Judas was wanting in hope, and such a sorrow does not lead back to God, but rather leads to despair and to an eternal separation from God. Judas’ sin in betraying our Lord was a terribly grievous one; and yet the worst sin he committed was that of despairing of the grace and mercy of God. His first sin might have found forgiveness, but there exists no forgiveness for the sin of despair; for he who despairs of God’s pardon denies the infinite mercy of God, and cannot therefore benefit by it. To despair of God’s mercy is one of the sins against the Holy Ghost, and it is said of these sins that they will not be forgiven either in this world or in the world to come (see chapter XXVII). Furthermore, Judas’ confession of his sin availed him nothing. If, full of confidence in his Saviour, the God of love and mercy, he had thrown himself at His Feet, confessed his guilt to Him, and implored His forgiveness, he would most surely have obtained it; but, as it was, in his despair of God’s mercy, he sought for consolation from men, and confessed his guilt merely to the members of the Sanhedrin. When they rejected him contemptuously, and laid all the responsibility on him, his last comfort was torn from him, and the burden of his guilty life was so heavy, that he had not the courage to bear it any longer. He felt that he had nothing more to hope for from heaven, and could find no peace on earth, so he hanged himself between heaven and earth, and to the crime of deicide added that of suicide.
Suicide is a terrible sin, for he who commits it does not only kill his body, but also his soul, since at the very moment of his death he is committing a mortal sin, and flinging his soul into hell.
Continued resistance of grace leads to eternal ruin. When our Lord chose Judas to be an apostle, no doubt he was full of good intentions and worthy of the choice. But by degrees he became the cause of great sorrow to his Divine Master, for his passions gained more and more dominion over him. Jesus bore with him, and repeatedly and solemnly warned him. When, a year before His death, and just after He had promised the Blessed Sacrament, our Lord gave to His apostles the choice whether to leave Him or not, Peter, in the name of the others, confessed his faith in Him as the Son of God, and pledged his allegiance to Him. But Jesus answered: “Have I not chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil.” In these words He alluded to Judas, and distinctly gave it to be understood that he would be unfaithful to Him, and a tool of the devil. Judas, however, dissembled and remained with Jesus, hoping to turn his service of Him to his own advantage; and when he quite lost all hopes of an earthly Messias, and consequent prosperity for himself, he compensated himself for his disappointment by frauds and thefts. Thus he persisted in sin, and abused the patience, gentleness and love of Jesus, by continuing in his evil mode of life, instead of being moved and converted. The unworthy apostle believed that, because his Master was so kind, he could go on sinning with impunity, and he sinned therefore against the goodness and mercy of
