tinually mourn and weep for all the evil which, whether wilfully or thoughtlessly, I have committed, for which I ought always to be sorry, to be mourning and praying; bearing patiently and lovingly the while all the trials and burdens laid upon me.
Woe is me that I neither have, nor can attain to, the purity of Saint John the Apostle; and yet do not grieve so much for my own vileness as he mourned and wept over the sins of others.
O holy John, beloved Apostle of Christ, and most faithful guardian[1] of blessed Mary ever Virgin, humbly and with a contrite heart I beseech you to stand by my side in this my weary life on earth; and even as at the foot of the Cross thou didst support the blessed Virgin Mother in her grief and tears, so to support me in the perilous hour of death; that the cruel enemy may not get the better of me in the fight, and that I may be strong in the faith, and may put my trust not in myself but in the Passion of Christ, and in the merits and prayers of the saints. In that hour of my greatest need grant me the support of thy faithful prayers, and above all of those holy and very bitter tears, which during the Passion of Christ thou didst so plenteously shed, out of sympathy with the tears and mournful sighs of the Mother of Jesus, the wailing of Mary Magdalene, and the heartrending lamentations of thy fellow-disciples and of the holy women; for those tears of thine were not shed in God's sight to no purpose, but were in truth most profitable to me and to the whole world; nay, to this day they profit me, and teach me to weep and to mourn with thee, and daily to call to mind the Passion of my
- ↑ [The word used here is custos.]
