Page:Stubbs's Calendar or The Fatal Boots.djvu/77

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SUMMERY PROCEEDINGS.
65

as I returned this officer’s stare, and continued in a loud careless voice) well—at this Sloffemsquiggle there lived a girl, a Miss Waters, the niece of some blackguard apothecary in the neighborhood; but my mother took a fancy to the girl, and had her up to the park, and petted her. We were both young—and—and—the girl fell in love with me, that’s the fact. I was obliged to repel some rather warm advances that she made me; and here, upon my honor as a gentleman, you have all the story about which that silly Dobble made such a noise."

Just as I finished this sentence, I found myself suddenly taken by the nose, and a voice shouting out,

"Mr. Stubbs, you are a Liar and a Scoundrel! take this, sir,—and this, for daring to meddle with the name of an innocent lady."

I turned round a well as I could, for the ruffian had pulled me out of my chair, and beheld a great marine monster, six feet high, who was occupied in beating and kicking me, in the most ungentlemanly manner, on my cheeks, my ribs, and between the tails of