Page:Sylvester Sound the Somnambulist (1844).djvu/162

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110
SYLVESTER SOUND

at once and drew the ale, and absolutely placed two glasses before them!

This was touching. Judkins couldn't stand it. He looked at her for a moment, as if to be sure that he had made no mistake in the person, and then said "Give us your hand, old girl. I don't think at all times you mean what you say, but don't let's have these here kicks up. Let's be comfortable together. Why shouldn't we be? We've got a good missis, and if we aint happy it's all our own fault. There, give us your hand, and let's have no more quarrelling."

Cook gave her hand freely, and then left the kitchen; and when the faculties of Judkins were sufficiently restored, he proceeded to explain to Chokes precisely how the smoke had attacked him.

"Jutht tho," observed Chokes, when all had been described; "vethy true! But lithen! I've been in thith profethion now more than fifty yearth, and I flatter mythelf I know thomethin about it. Now, ven you found the thmoke tho thick in the kitchen, inthead of dathin through it ath you did, and thuth takin away all your blethed breath, you thould have dropped down inthantly upon your handth and kneeth, and then you vouldn't have had any thmoke at all. I'll tell you vy: Thmoke hath got ath muth natur about it ath we have, and knowth ath vell vot itth about. Itth the natur of thmoke to go up the thimbley, and up the thimbley ven it can it vill go, and not give no trouble to nobody; but if tho be it can't go up the thimbley, then it vill go vere it can, but alvayth up if it can. Now, thmoke vanth freth air. It'll alvayth go into freth air if it can. Vethy good. But if it can't it'll thill go up nevertheleth. Now lithen. If a room ith vethy hot, itth muth hotter at top than at bottom—that ith to thay, itth hotter near the theelin than it ith near the floor. If a room hath been heated by gath, you'll find, if you hang up your glath near the theelin, and then let it thtand for a time on the ground, it'll vathy from fifteen to twenty degreeth! Vethy good. And egthactly the same ith it vith the philothophy of thmoke, ven a room ith full of it. Near the theelin you can't breathe; it would thuffocate the devil: but near the floor you'll find freth air, upon vitch the thmoke theemth to thwim."

"There's a good deal in what you say, no doubt," said Judkins, "but if the smoke will if it can have fresh air, why don't it go down where the fresh air is?"

"Tho it would, if there voth enough of it! But it beginth at the top: it vill, as I thaid, keep up if it can, and itth vethy theldom found that a room ith tho full that thereth no fresh air at all below. The freth air trieth to forth the thmoke out!—if it can, it vill: if it can't, it can't. Nevertheleth, alvath ven a room ith full of thmoke—you know vot I mean by thaying full?—I don't, you know, mean philothophically full—alwayth crawl handth and kneeth upon the floor."

"Well, I dare say you're right about that," said Judkins; "and if you are it's a thing worth knowing."

"I know that I'm right," returned Chokes; "I know by ecthperienth, and ecthperienth teatheth vunderth. I've thaved in my time many a baby in that vay. In the cathe of a houthe on fire, ven I've found a