o'clock, finding I must quit the window, or sink where I was, I resolved on the former, having borne, truly for the sake of others, infinitely more for life, than the best of it is worth.
In the rank close behind me was an officer of one of the ships, whose name was Carey, and who behaved with much bravery during the siege, (his wife, a fine woman tho' country born, would not quit him, but accompanied him into the prison, and was one who survived.) This poor wretch had been long raving for water and air; I told him I was determined to give up life, and recommending his gaining my station. On my quitting, he made an attempt to get my place; but was supplanted.
Poor Carey expressed his thankfulness, and said he would give up life too; but it was with the utmost labour we forced our way from the window (several in the inner ranks appearing to me dead standing[1].) He laid himself down to die: and his death, I believe, was very sudden, for he was a short, full, sanguine man: his strength was great, and I imagine had he not retired with me, I should never have been able to have forced my way.
I was at this time sensible of no pain, and little uneasiness. I found a stupor coming on apace, and laid myself down by that gallant old man, the reverent Mr. Jervas Bellamy, who lay dead with his son the lieutenant, hand in hand, near the southernmost wall of the prison.
When I had lain their some little time, I still had reflexion enough to suffer some uneasiness in the thought that I should be trampled upon, when dead, as I myself had done to others. With some difficulty I raised myself and gained the platform a second time, where I presently lost all sensation: the last trace of sensibility that I have been able to recollect after my lying down, was, my sash being uneasy about my waist, which I untied and threw from me. Of what passed in this interval to the time of my resurrection from this hole of horrors, I can give you no account.
When the day broke, and the gentlemen found that no intreaties could prevail to get the door opened, it occurred to one of them (I think to Mr. Secretary Cooke) to make a search for me, in hopes I might have influence enough to gain a release from this scene of misery. Accordingly Messrs. Lushington and Walcot undertook the search, and by my shirt discovered me under the dead upon the platform. They took me from thence, and imagining I had some signs of life, brought me towards the window I had first possession of.
But as life was equally dear to every man (and the stench arising from the dead bodies was grown so intolerable) no one would give up his station in or near the window: so they were obliged to carry me back again. But soon after Captain Mills, (now captain of the company's yacht) who was in possession of a seat in the window, had the humanity to offer to resign it. I was again brought by the same gentlemen and placed in the window.
At this juncture the suba, who had received an account of the ha-
- ↑ Unable to fall by the throng and equal pressure round.
vock
