We must beg the gentlemen of the army pardon, if next to them we should take the liberty of mentioning the barbers; a set of gentlemen very useful in their station, but under no absolute necessity of hanging out false French upon their signs; it may indeed become a French friseur, to acquaint the public that he makes a tete de mouton, or simply a tete; but we are a little offended when an English tonsor, under the sign of a thing, which in some countries might be called a periwig, shall write ladies taites, or tates, or taets, or taits, or taites's made here; it looks as if they meant a reflection upon the ladies of Great-Britain, by acquainting the public, that their heads were made in barbers ships, and to be had either in Middle-row or Rag-fair. Now their intended purpose of serving the community would certainly be better answered if they would suffer their signs to speak plain English, and inform the world that sheeps heads (which we are told is the meaning of the three French words above) were sold there, as by that means they would bid fair to serve gentlemen as well as ladies, who were not already provided.
Je-ne-seai-quoy, though of French extraction, we shall not presume to find fault with, because it has been naturalized, and productive of infinite good in England; it has helped many an unfortunate girl to a husband; it has indeed sometimes parted man and wife, but has soon brought them together again; seldom fails of healing up the breaches it had made between friends; has fitted out fleets and armies, and brought them home again; has been a theme for orators in velvet and crape, and has furnished matter for many volumes.
Chicane, we dare not meddle with, as we are told the lawyers have taken it under their immediate protection; but as quirks and tricks are as foreign to their profession, as ambition and avarice to that of a more venerable order, we suppose the charge is without foundation.
Bagatelle, or trifle, we shall leave to the smarts, as it would be a pity to rob them of the chief object of their study.
Pet-en-l'air, may suit very well with French effronterie; for if the ladies of that country make no scruple of watering their ruelles before the gentlemen who attend their levees, I see no reason why they should be ashamed of a f———t; but as no such offensive wind is every supposed to blow from fair English b———ms, we could wish they had found a name of a little more delicacy for this garment.
We therefore humbly pray, that French words, as well as French dress and French manners, may be laid aside, at least during the continuance of the present war; for we are apprehensive, should their language and customs descend to us, we should be taught by their example, on the day of battle to f———te le camp.
For these reasons we play as above: and shall, as in duty bound, hold them in everylasting abhorrence.
To
