Page:The Deipnosophists (Volume 2).djvu/38

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And yet is far from cooking the meat through.)
It is not every one who has a spoon
And knife about him that we call a cook,
Nor every one who puts his fish in a pan;
There is more wit and reason in the business.

39. And the cook in Diphilus's Painter tells us also to whom he thinks it worth his while to hire himself, saying—

A. I will not use your meat, nor give my aid
     Unless I'm sure that I shall have all means
     Which needful are to make a proper show;
     Nor do I e'er go anywhere till first
     I know who 'tis who makes the sacrifice,
     Or what the cause may be which prompts the banquet,
     Or who the guests are who have been invited.
     For I have got a regular list at home
     Of where I choose to go, and where I don't.
     As first, to speak of the commercial class;
     Some captain of a ship may make a sacrifice
     Just to discharge some vow, made when he lost
     His mast, or broke the rudder of his vessel,
     Or, having sprung a leak, threw overboard
     His cargo. I'll have nought to do with him:
     For he does nothing willingly, but only
     Just so much as he thinks he cannot help.
     And every time a cup is fill'd with wine,
     He makes a calculation of the sum
     Which he can charge his owners or his passengers,
     And thinks that what his guests do eat and drink
     Is his own flesh and blood. Another came,
     But three days since, from the Byzantine port,
     Safe and successful; joyful in a profit
     Of ten or twelve per cent; talking of nothing
     But freight and interest, spending all his love
     On worn-out panders. Soon as he did quit
     The ship and set his foot upon the land,
     I blew my nose, gave him my hand, and utter'd
     Audible thanks to saving Jupiter,
     And hasten'd forth to wait on him. For this
     Is always my way; and I find it answer.
     Again, an amorous youth will feast and squander
     His sire's estate; to him I go at call.
     But those who feast in shares, and throw together
     Into one dish their petty contributions,
     Though they may tear their clothes, and cry aloud,
     "Come, who will cook us our new-purchased supper?"
     I let bawl on. For if you go to them,
     First there is language hard and blows to bear;
     Secondly, one must slave the livelong night;
     And when at last you ask them for your pay,
     "First bring the pot," say they. "There was no vinegar