Page:The Deipnosophists (Volume 3).djvu/365

And knowing all the usual sciences;
Then the affair will seem quite different.
We are the only three remaining ones—
Chariades, and Bœdion, and I.
A fico for the rest!

Gent. What's that you say?

Cook. What, I? 'Tis we that keep up Sicon's school,
Who was the head and founder of the art.
He used to teach us first of all astronomy;
Next after that directly, architecture;
Confining all he said to natural science.
Then, to conclude, he lectured upon tactics.
All this he made us learn before the art.

Gent. Dear sir, d'ye mean to worry me to death?

Cook. No; while the slave is coming back from market,
I'll rouse your curiosity a little
Upon the subject, that we thus may seize
This most convenient time for conversation.

Gent. By Phœbus, but you'll find it a hard matter!

Cook. Listen, good sir. Firstly, the cook must know
"Astronomy,"—the settings and the risings
Of all the stars, and when the sun comes back
Both to the longest and the shortest day,
And through what constellations he is passing.
For nearly every kind of meat and food
Deceives, they say, a varying gout within it
During the revolution of the system.
So he that knows all this, will see the season,
And use each article just as he ought;
But he that does not, will be justly thump'd.
Again, perhaps, you wonder as to "architecture,"
How it can aid the art of cookery?

Gent. I know it. 'Tis most strange.

Cook. Yet I'll explain it.
To plan the kitchen rightly and receive
As much light as you want, and see from whence
The draught is, does good service in the business.
The driving of the smoke, now here, now there,
Makes a material difference when you're boiling.
Why should I, then, go on to prove that "tactics"
Are needful to the Cook? Good order's good