B.C. 45, ÆT. 61
And yet, as I write this, it occurs to me that I am the
man whose despair you were wont to blame, and whom you
used your influence to rouse from a state of hesitation and
anxiety. It was at a time, indeed, when it was not the goodness
of our cause, but the wisdom of our policy with which I was
dissatisfied. For I saw that, when too late, we were opposing
arms which had long before been rendered formidable by
ourselves, and I grieved that a constitutional question should
be settled by spears and swords, not by consultation and the
weight of our influence. Nor, when I said that those things
would occur, which actually did do so, was I divining the
future. I was only expressing a fear lest what I saw to
be possible and likely to be ruinous, if it did occur, should
happen; especially as, if I had to promise one way or the
other about the result and end of the campaign, what did
actually occur would have been the more obvious promise
for me to make. For the points in which we had the advantage
were not those which appear on the field of battle,
while in the use of arms and the vigour of our soldiers we
were at a disadvantage. But pray shew the spirit now which
you thought that I ought to have shewn then. I write this
because on my making all sorts of inquiries about you from
your freedman Philargyrus, he told me with feelings, as I
thought, of the utmost devotion to you, that at times you
were apt to be excessively anxious. You ought not to be so,
nor to doubt either that, if any form of constitution is restored,
you will have your due place in it, or that, if it is
gone for ever, you will be in no worse position than the rest.
The present position, indeed, which is one of alarm and
suspense for us all, you ought to bear with the greater calmness
of spirit from the fact that you are living in a city which
gave birth to and fostered a systematic rule of life, and that
you have with you in Servius Sulpicius one for whom you
have always had a singular affection: one who no doubt
consoles you by his kindness and wisdom; whose example
and advice, if we had followed, we should have remained
at peace under Cæsar's supremacy, rather than have taken
up arms and submitted to a conqueror.
But perhaps I have treated these points at too great a length: the following, which are more important, I will express more briefly. There is no one to whom I owe more
