CCCCXIV (A XI, 5)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
Brundisium (4 November)
What the reasons were, and how distressing, peremptory,
and unprecedented, which influenced me and compelled me
to follow an impulsive feeling, so to speak, rather than deliberate
thought, I cannot tell you in writing without the
utmost anguish of mind. They were so powerful as to effect
what you see.[1] Accordingly I cannot think of anything to say
to you about my affairs or to ask of you. The actual result
and the upshot of the whole business is before you. I have
myself gathered from your letters—both the one written in
conjunction with others, and the one in your own name—that
(as I saw independently) being in a manner unnerved
by the unexpected turn of affairs, you are trying to find
other methods of protecting me. You say in your letter
that you think I ought to come nearer, and make my journey
through the towns by night: but I cannot at all see how
that can possibly be done. For neither have I suitable
stopping-places, in which I could possibly pass all the hours
of daylight, nor for the object which you have in view does
it much matter whether men see me in a town or on the
road. However, I will consider even this, as I shall other
plans, to see how it can be most advantageously managed.
For myself, owing to my extraordinary uneasiness both of
body and mind, I have been incapable of composing
numerous letters: I have only answered those who have
written to me. Pray write to Basilus and to others to whom
you think it proper—even to Servilius[2]—in my name, and say
whatever you think right. As to the long interval during
which I have written nothing at all to you, you will under-*
