it does not appear to have been consciously defined as fear or anxiety,—it was sufficiently strong to impel the percipient to a very unusual course of action.
No. 12. From Mr. T. B. Garrison
My mother, Nancy J. Garrison, died on Friday night, October 4, 1888, at her home three miles north-east of Ozark, Christian County, Missouri. She was 58 years old. I was then living at Fordland, in Webster County, Missouri, about 18 miles north-east of my mother's home. I had not seen my mother for two months at the time of her death, but had heard from [her] by letter from week to week.
On the night of my mother's death there was a meeting in Fordland, and myself and wife attended the preaching. We had then one child, a baby a year old. The meeting had been going on a week or more. About ten o'clock, just before the meeting closed, while the congregation was singing, I felt the first desire to see my mother. The thought of my mother was suggested by the sight of some of the penitents at the altar, who were very warm and sweating. My mother was subject to smothering spells, and while suffering from these attacks she would perspire freely and we had to fan her. In the faces of the mourners I seemed to see my mother's suffering. And then the impulse to go to her became so strong that I gave the baby to a neighbour-woman and left the church without telling my wife. She was in another part of the house.
The train going west which would have taken me [to] Rogersville, seven miles of the distance to my mother's place, was due at 10.30 p.m., but before I got home and changed my clothes and returned to the depot, the cars had left the station. I still felt that I must see my mother and started down the railroad track alone, and walked to Rogersville. Here I left the railroad and walked down the waggon way leading from Marshfield to Ozark, Mo. It was about 3 o'clock a.m.