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368 POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF
" Certainly not," replied Sam, '- I was in the passage 'till they called me up, and then the old lady was not there."
" Now, attend, Mr. Weller," said Sergeant Buzfuz, dipping- a large pen into the inkstand before him, for the purpose of frightening Sam with a show of taking down his answer. " You were in the passage and yet saw nothing of what was going forward. Have you a pair of eyes, Mr. Weller?"
" Yes, I have a pair of eyes," replied Sam, " and that's just it. If they wos a pair o' patent double million magnifyin' gas miscroscopes of hextra power, p'raps I might be able to see through a flight o' stairs and a deal door ; but bein' only eyes you see, my wision's limited."
At this answer, which was delivered without the slightest appearance of irritation, and with the most complete simplicity and equanimity of manner, the spectators tittered, the little Judge smiled, and Sergeant Buzfuz looked particularly foolish. After a short consultation with Dodson and Fogg, the learned Sergeant again turned towards Sam, and said, with a painful effort to conceal his vexation, " Now, Mr. Weller, I'll ask you a question on another point, if you please."
" If you please, Sir," rejoined Sam, with the utmost good-humour.
" Do you remember going up to Mrs. Bardell's house, one night in November last T'
" Oh yes, wery well."
" Oh, you do remember that, Mr. Weller," said Sergeant Buzfuz, recovering his spirits, I thought we should get at something at last.'"
" I ray ther thought that, too, Sir," replied Sam ; and at this the spec- tators tittered again.
'< Well ; I suppose you went up to have a little talk about this tria. — eh, Mr. Weller?" said Sergeant Buzfuz, looking knowingly at the jury.
" I went u-p to pay the rent ; but we did get a talkin' about the trial," replied Sam.
" Oh you did get a talking about the trial," said Sergeant Buzfuz,' brightening up with the anticipation of some important discovery. Now what passed about the trial ; will you have the goodness to tell us, Mr. Weller?"
'-' Vith all the pleasure in life, Sir," replied Sam. " Arter a few unimportant obserwations from the two wirtuous females as has been examined here to-day, the ladies gets into a very great state o' admi- ration at the honorable conduct of Mr. Dodson and Fogg — them two gen'l'men as is settin' near you now." This, of course, drew general at- tention to Dodson and Fogg, who looked as virtuous as possible.
" The attornies for the plaintiff," said Mr. Sergeant Buzfuz, " well they spoke in high praise of the honorable conduct of Messrs. Dodson and Fogg, the attornies for the plaintiff, did they ? "
" Yes," said Sam, "they said what a wery gen'rous thing it was o' them^ to have taken up the case on spec, and to charge nothin' at all for costs unless they got 'em out of Mr. Pickwick."
At this very unexpected reply, the spectators tittered again, an Dodson and Fogg, turning very red, leant over to Sergeant Buzfuz, and in a hurried manner whispered something in his ear. -"
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