THE PICKWICK CLUB. 525
window, every one of whom had his eyes earnestly fixed upon him too. He had never seen such a sea of white faces and red bodies, and earnest eyes, in all his born days.
- ' 'This is the strangest sort of thing I ever had any thing to do
with,' thought my uncle — 'allow me to return you your hat, Sir.'
- The ill-looking gentleman received his three-cornered hat in
silence — looked at the hole in the middle with an enquiring air, and finally stuck it on the top of his wig, with a solemnity the effect of which was a trifle impaired by his sneezing violently at the moment, and jerking it off again.
'* ' All riglit ! ' cried the guard with the lantern, mounting into his little seat behind. Away they went. My uncle peeped out of the coach-window as they emerged from the vard, and observed that the other mails, with coachmen, guards, horses, and passengers complete, were driving round and round in circles, at a slow trot of about five miles an hour. My uncle burnt with indignation, gentlemen. As a commercial man, he felt that the mail bags were not to be trifled with, and he resolved to memorialise the Post-ofhce upon the subject, the very instant he reached London.
- ' At present, however, his thoughts were occupied with the young
lady who sat in the furthest corner of the coach, with her face muffled closely in her hood : the gentleman with the sky blue coat sitting opposite to her, and the other man in the plum-coloured suit, by her side, and both watching her intently. If she so much as rustled the folds of her hood, he could hear the ill-looking man clap his hand upon his sword, and tell by the other's breathing (it was so dark he couldn't see his face) that he was looking as big as if he were going to devour her at a mouthful. This roused my uncle more and more, and he resolved, come what come might, to see the end of it. He had a great admiration for bright eyes, and sweet faces, and pretty legs and feet; in short he was fond of the whole sex. It runs in our family, gentle- meh — so am I,
"Many were the devices which my uncle practised to attract the lady's attention, or at all events, to engage the mysterious gentlemen in conversation. They were all in vain ; the gentlemen wouldn't talk, and the lady didn't dare. He thrust his head out of the coach-window at intervals, and bawled out to know why they didn't go faster. But he called till he was hoarse — nobody paid the least attention to him. He leant back in the coach, and thought of the beautiful face, and the feet and legs. This answered better ; it wiled away the time, and kept him from wondering where he was going to, and how it was he found himself in such an odd situation. Not that this would have worried him much any way — he was a mighty, free and easy, roving, devil- may-care sort of person, was my uncle, gentlemen.
"All of a sudden the coach stopped. 'Hallo!' said my uncle. ♦ What's in the wind now ? '
" ' Alight here,' said the guard, letting down the steps.
" * Here !' cried my uncle.
- ' Here,' rejoined the guard.
" * I'll do nothing of the sort,' said my uncle.
