a really Big Woman On Campus," she said nostalgically. She had then gone to graduate school, taking her degree at Columbia University in business administration, and on graduation had entered the buying department of one of the largest merchandising corporations in America.
Within five years Toni had become the top buyer of women's clothes for the entire corporation. In actuality this was one of the top positions of this kind in the United States, for the merchandising corporation was gigantic. Her present salary exceeded twenty-five thousand dollars a year.
I was not surprised to learn, at this point, that this was exactly three times the salary her husband made as a junior member of a law firm that specialized in corporation law.
I now asked Toni if she did not get a great deal of pleasure from her success in the business world. She told me that before she was married and for about two years afterward she had indeed felt a great deal of pride in her success. Her husband, too, had shared her pleasure in her achievements. After the baby had come, however, he had seemed gradually to lose interest in her work. And gradually, too, she had developed a growing sense of guilt about her activities in the business world. She had the constant feeling that she was neglecting her child. Sometimes she would call the nurse at home five or six times a day to find out if the baby was all right. "Two months ago," she told me, "I went in to see my boss. I told him I wanted to leave or to cut down to a part-time job. He was terribly upset and at once offered me a large increase and gave me a big talk on how important I was and how much they needed me. One part of me was flattered enormously, but after I left him I felt depressed. I felt as though I were failing my child terribly, but I felt trapped by the amount of money I had been offered. I also felt that if I should really give it all up I would quickly become bored at just staying home."
