who makes the advance is hurt, he or she must examine the rejected feeling, take full responsibility for it, and dispose of it. Holding onto such feelings causes one to fear making advances, and this will deprive the relationship of one of the best techniques for maintaining spontaneity. It is insensitive and unloving to force a partner by sulking or other forms of psychological blackmail to satisfy a need. It is far easier for the ardent one to wait; the time will come soon enough; the fact that you have announced your desire has a delayed reaction on your loved one.
Waking in the middle of the night, many men find themselves prepared for love-making, the penis firmly erect. And many women love to be awakened from their sleep to find themselves mistily, dreamily in the embrace of love; the body on waking is often very sensual.
Changes on the time for love can be rung in a variety of ways, and it is advisable to see that they are. Not too much effort is necessary; the hour at the end of the day when one is preparing for sleep will still remain the basic time for intercourse. It will need but an occasional switch in time to keep this customary trysting hour from losing its quality of ever-renewed excitement.
Another and perhaps even more basic technique for preserving the spontaneity of sex is that of varying the position used during intercourse. In most relationships one preferred position generally evolves. If this position is always adopted, the feeling of a monotonous repetitiveness can enter the love situation, and this must be guarded against.
This fact has been recognized from earliest times, and efforts to combat it have given rise through the centuries to a vast number of books on the subject. Hindu, Greek, Roman, and Persian literature record hundreds of sexual positions and animadversions, and if one has a library of erotica available and is sufficiently curious these positions
