(4) Limits to love-making
I am often asked the question whether any sexual practice between husband and wife could be considered "unhealthy" or "wrong." In my opinion, certain practices could be considered so, though I know I am at variance with certain sexologists. A long discussion of the matter, however, would take us into psychological and even perhaps moral realms which I do not feel are pertinent to this book. As a rule of thumb, I would say that any practice that does not culminate in intercourse tends to be regressive and infantile if it becomes a chief method of sexual expression. Also, insistence on any practice that cannot be shared pleasurably by the partner is likewise regressive.
The so-called "polymorphus perverse" pleasures are aspects of foreplay and not ends in themselves. The primacy of the oral, anal, onanistic, or sado-masochistic forms of sexuality is a hallmark of the immature personality. Another unmistakable sign of such immaturity (or even of down-*right psychic illness) is the insistence on any form of sexuality not heartily endorsed by one's partner. (5) Contraception
To use or not to use contraceptives is a personal matter that every individual must settle for himself.
When the responsibility for contraception is up to the woman, she should always be prepared for intercourse whenever it is even remotely possible. There is nothing so deadening to sexual excitement as the woman who comes to love unprepared and must interrupt the process to put her diaphragm on. If this is a repetitive situation in marital life it is almost a certain sign that the woman has not yet accepted her feminine role. The tacit assumption when you obtain a diaphragm is that you are accepting the responsi-
