Page:The Shield (Knopf, 1917).djvu/204

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178
HOW TO HELP?

accustomed to the place, to the people who take care of you,—and then again a train, a flashing of a station, and the final outrage of the arrival.

Many say: 'Better to die than to resume our road again.'

"But we are forced to send them further, although nowadays it is hard to place the deported; all the towns are crowded, the congestion leads to diseases. Here, too, we have had several deaths. . . ."

"Tell me," I said finally, "but you know, at least approximately, why these people are deported? It is impossible that this should be done for no earthly reason, simply because they happen to be Jews. . . ."

How great was my repentance that I put this naive question! I shall never, never forget the eyes which turned on me. There was in them a burning pain and another question: "Yes, for what crime? If we only knew it. . . . Perhaps, you will tell us? You are a Russian, you are in a better position to know. . ."

I got up quickly, shook hands, and left in silence, with a feeling of repulsion for myself and shame for my helplessness. . . .