Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 5.djvu/155

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WONDER OF WONDERS.
147

order of (1) birth; of which the eldest is now head of the house; the second and third carry arms; but the two youngest are only footmen: some indeed add, that he has likewise a twin brother, who lives over against him and keeps a victuallinghouse (2); he has the reputation to be a close, griping, squeezing fellow; and that when his bags are full, he is often needy; yet when the fit takes him, as fast as he gets, he lets it fly.

When in office, no one discharges himself, or does his business better. He has sometimes strained hard for an honest livelihood; and never got a bit, till every body else had done.

One practice appears very blamable in him; that every morning he privately frequents unclean houses, where any modest person would blush to be seen. And although this be generally known, yet the world, as censorious as it is, has been so kind to overlook this infirmity in him. To deal impartially, it must be granted that he is too great a lover of himself, and very often consults his own ease, at the expense of his best friends: but this is one of his blind sides; and the best of men I fear are not without them.

He has been constituted by the higher powers in the station of receiver general, in which employment some have censured him for playing fast and loose. He is likewise overseer of the golden mines which he daily inspects, when his health will permit him.

He was long bred under a master of arts (3), who instilled good principles into him, but these were scon corrupted. I know not whether this deserves mention: that he is so very capricious, as to

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