Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/377

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DIALOGUE III.
367

Miss. Mr. Neverout, I beg your diversion: no offence, I hope; but truly in a little time you intend to make the colonel as bad as yourself; and that's as bad as can be.

Neverout. My lord, don't you think miss improves wonderfully of late? why, miss, if I spoil the colonel, I hope you will use him as you do me; for you know, love me, love my dog.

Col. How's that, Tom? Say that again: why, if I am a dog, shake hands, brother.


Here a great, loud, long laugh.


Ld. Smart. But pray, gentlemen, why always so severe upon poor miss? on my conscience, colonel and Tom Neverout, one of you two are both knaves.

Col. My lady Answerall, I intend to do myself the honour of dining with your ladyship to morrow.

Lady Answ. Ay, colonel, do, if you can.

Miss. I'm sure you'll be glad to be welcome.

Col. Miss, I thank you; and to reward you, I'll come and drink tea with you in the morning.

Miss. Colonel, there's two words to that bargain.

Col. [to lady Smart.] Your ladyship has a very fine watch; well may you wear it.

Lady Smart. It is none of mine, colonel.

Col. Pray, whose is it then?

Lady Smart. Why, 'tis my lord's; for they say a married woman has nothing of her own, but her wedding-ring and her hair-lace: but if women had been the law makers it would have been better.

Col. This watch seems to be quite new.

Lady Smart. No, sir; it has been twenty years in my lord's family; but Quare put a new case and dial plate to it.

Neverout.