agitated manner, said, 'I beg your pardon, sir, but the landlady is in the hall, and would like to speak to you.' Out I went, and found the finest specimen of an English landlady that I had seen for many a day. There she stood, nearly as thick as she was tall, with a red face garnished around with curls, that seemed to say, 'I have just been oiled and brushed.' A neat apron covered a black alpaca dress that swept the floor with modesty, and a bunch of keys hung at her side. O, that smile! such a smile as none but an adept could put on. However, I had studied human nature too successfully not to know that thunder and lightning were concealed under that smile, and I nerved myself for the occasion.
"'I am sorry to have to name it, sir,' said she; 'but the sheets are missing off your bed.'
"'O, yes,' I replied; 'I took them off last night.'
"'Indeed!' exclaimed she; 'and what did you do with them?'
"'I threw them out of the window,' said I.
"'What! into the street?'
"'Yes; into the street,' I said.
"'What did you do that for?'
"'They were wet; and I was afraid that if I left them in the room they would be put on at night, and give somebody else a cold.'
"'Then, sir,' said she, 'you'll have to pay for them.'
