Page:The unhallowed harvest (1917).djvu/328

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
A CRUEL SURPRISE
323

Ruth, moved with deep pity, crossed the room, and sat by her, and took her hand in both of her own.

"I am so sorry for you," she said; "so sorry. But you know Mr. Farrar could not have done otherwise than he has done without belittling his calling as a minister. And you, as his wife, must try to forget yourself and your troubles, and help and comfort and encourage him."

"I can't, Miss Tracy. It's impossible. I lack both the strength and the ability. I haven't what he calls 'the vision.' I haven't any of the qualities that fit a woman to be a minister's wife, and he knows it, and he has told me so."

"Mrs. Farrar, you must be mistaken. Surely he would not——"

"No, I am not mistaken. It's all true. He knows I am utterly incapable, and he treats me accordingly. He never consults me about his work or his plans. He doesn't even mention them to me any more. I don't blame him. He knows it would be useless. I can't understand them, and I can't understand him nor sympathize with any of his views. I'm only a drag on him—a burden. It would be so much better if I were entirely out of his way."

"Mrs. Farrar! You must not talk so."

"But it's true. And I shall be out of his way. I can't endure a life like this. I shall die. I hope, for his sake, that I shall die soon. Then he will be free to marry one who will understand him, and sympathize with him, and be a companion to him as well as a wife."

"Mrs. Farrar! You are beside yourself. You have brooded too much over your troubles. You have been left too much alone. You must come oftener to see me, and I will come oftener to the rectory."

"Yes. That will please Mr. Farrar. He depends so much upon you. You are his mainstay. He could not have done his work without you. I doubt if he could have lived through all this without you, Miss Tracy."