wear an ash-coloured habit, and a canvas girdle; but compare their lives, and nothing can be more disagreeable: I speak of a great many, but not of all. And this may be carried thro’ all orders and professions. A preposterous confidence springs from an erroneous judgment, and from them both, preposterous scandals. Let but a franciscan go out of doors with a leather girdle, if he has chanc’d to lose his rope; or an augustine with a woollen one, or one that uses to wear a girdle without one; what an abomination would it be accounted? What danger is there, that if some women should see this, they would miscarry! And from such trifles as these, how is brotherly charity broke in upon! What bitter envyings, how viruLent slanderings! The Lord exclaims against these in the gospel, and so does paul vehemently, and so ought divines and preachers to do.
Fi. Indeed they ought to do so; but there are a great many among them, whose interest it is to have people, princes, and bishops, such as they are themselves. And there are others again, that have no more sense, as to these things, than the people themselves; or if they do know better, they dissemble it, consulting their own bellies, rather than the interest of jesus christ. And hence it comes to pass, that the people being every where corrupted with erroneous judgments, are secure where there is danger, and fearful where there is none; can sit down satisfied where they should proceed, and go forward when they should return. And if a man attempt to bring any one off from these erroneous principles, presently they cry out sedition; as tho’ it were sedition for any one, with better remedies, to endeavour to correct a vitious habit of body, which an ignorant pretender to physick has for a long time nourished, and almost brought it to be natural. But ’tis time to leave off these complaints, for there is no end of them. And if the people should hear what discourse we have, we are in danger to have a new proverb raised upon us, that a salt-fishmonger and a butcher trouble their heads about such things.
Bu. If they did, I would return this proverb upon them, sæpe etiam est olitor valde opportune loquutus. A little while ago I was talking of these things at the table, and, as ill luck would have it, there sat a ragged, lousy, stern, old, wither’d, white-liver’d fellow, he had scarce three hairs on his head, and whenever he open’d his mouth, he shut his eyes; they said he was a divine, and he call’d me a disciple of antichrist, and a great many such like things. Fi. What did you do then? Did you say nothing? Bu. I wish’d him a dram of sound judgment in his stinking brain, if he had any. Fi. I should be glad to hear the whole of that story. Bu. So you shall, if you will come and dine with me on thursday next; you shall have a veal-pye for dinner, so tender bak’d, that you may suck it thro’ a quill. Fi. I’ll promise you I will come; if you’ll come and dine with me on friday, i’ll convince you, that we fishmongers don’t live merely on stinking salt fish.
THE FUNERAL.
Marcolphus, Phœdrus.
Ma. Where have you been, Phædrus! What, are you just come out of Trophonius's cave? Ph. What makes you ask me that question?
