Page:Walpole--portrait of man with red hair.djvu/229

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WITH RED HAIR
225

said so softly that he with difficulty caught her words: "I will tell you one thing that you won't believe, but it's true. I wanted to go to Crispin."

He turned to look at her in amazement.

"You wanted to go?"

"Yes. I know you thought that I went for the boys and father. I know that David thinks that too. Of course that was true a little. He promised me that they should have everything. It was a relief to me that I needn't think of them any more. But it wasn't only that. I wanted to go. I wanted to be free."

"To be free!" Harkness cried. "My God! what freedom! I can understand your wanting to escape, but with such men...."

She turned round upon him eagerly. "You don't know what he can be like—the elder Crispin, I mean. And to a girl, an ignorant, conceited girl. Yes, I was conceited, that was the cause of everything. Father had all sorts of books in his room, I used to read everything I could see—French and German in a kind of way, and secretly I was very proud of myself. I thought that I was more learned than any one I knew, and I used to smile to myself secretly when I overheard people saying how good I was to the boys, and how unselfish, and I would think, 'That's not what I am at all. If you only knew how much I know, and the kind of things, you'd be surprised.'