Preparation for death/XI. THE VALUE OF TIME
CONSIDERATION XI
The value of time
"Redeeming the time, because the days are evil." Eph. v. 16.
First Point.
WE are told in Holy Scripture to be careful of time, which is the most precious thing and the greatest gift that God bestows upon living man. The Pagans even understood the value of time. Seneca observed that " the value of time is priceless." But the saints have much better understood it. S. Bernardine of Sienna says, that one single moment of time is of very great importance, because at any one moment a man may, by one act of contrition or of love, gain the Divine grace and eternal glory.
Time is a treasure which can be found in this life alone; it is to be found neither in heaven nor in hell. This is the lamentation of the lost in hell, " Oh, that an hour were given." They would give anything for one hour in which they might be able to remedy their ruin, but this hour they will never have. In heaven there are no tears; but if the blessed could weep, this would be a cause for lamentation, that they had lost any time during this life in which they might have acquired greater glory for such time they now can never have.
And you, my brother, how are you spending the time? And for what reason do you put off until tomorrow that which you can do today? Remember that the time which is already past away is no longer yours: the future is not in your power, the present time alone you have for doing good. S. Bernard warns us, saying, " Wherefore do you presume upon the future, O miserable one, as if the Father had put the times in thy power." And S. Augustine asks, " Do you reckon upon a day, who canst not reckon upon an hour?" How canst thou promise thyself the day of tomorrow, if thou knowest not whether one more hour of life will be thine? S. Teresa thus concludes, and says, " If thou art not ready to die today, thou oughtest to fear lest thou shouldst die an unhappy death!
Affections and Prayers.
O my God, I thank Thee for the time Thou art giving me to atone, as far as I am able, for the sins of my past life. If at this moment Thou shouldst cause me to die, one of my greatest griefs would be to think of the time I have lost. Ah, my Lord, Thou didst give me the time to spend in loving Thee, and I have spent it in offending Thee. I deserved to be sent to hell from the first moment I turned away from Thee, but Thou hast called me to repentance, and Thou hast pardoned me. I promised never more to offend Thee, but since then, how many times have I not again offended Thee, and Thou hast again pardoned me? for ever blessed be Thy mercy. If it were not infinite, how could it thus have borne with me? Who else would have shown such patience towards me as Thou hast? How much I grieve for having offended a God so good! My dear Saviour, the patience alone Thou hast shown towards me ought to have inspired me with love for Thee. Ah, never more allow me to be ungrateful to the love Thou hast borne for me. Separate me from all things, and draw me wholly to Thy love. No, my God, I will no longer waste that time which Thou hast given me to atone for the evil I have done; I would spend it all in serving and loving Thee. Give me strength, give me holy perseverance. I love Thee, O Thou Infinite Goodness, and I hope to love Thee in eternity.
Second Point.
There is nothing that is more precious than time, but yet there is nothing less valued, and more despised by men of the world. This is what S. Bernard deplores, when he says, " The days of salvation pass away, and no one reflects that the day which has passed away from him can never return." That gambler will be seen to waste both day and night in play; if he is asked what he is doing, he answers, "We are passing away the time." Another idler will be seen to loiter about the streets, for whole hours together, looking at those who pass by, either speaking of wicked, or else about useless things; if he is asked what he is doing, he answers, " I am passing away the time." Poor, blind ones! who are wasting so many days, but days that will never return.
O despised time, thou wilt be the thing most desired by the worldly at the time of death. They will desire one more year, one more month, one more day; but they will not have it, they will then hear it declared, that " time shall be no longer." What would not each one of those give for one more week, one more day, in order the better to clear his conscience. S. Laurence Justinian observes, that each one of these will then be willing to give up everything to obtain only one hour. But this hour will not be given to them; the priest who is with them will say, there is no more time for thee; " Depart, O Christian soul, from this world."
Nevertheless, the prophet bids us remember God, and obtain His grace before the light shall fail, " Remember now thy Creator .... while the sun or the light .... be not darkened. (Eccles. xii. I, 2.) How it distresses a pilgrim when he finds out that he has wandered from the right way, and it is already night, and there is no longer time to get back to the right path. This will be the distress when death comes to him, of him who has lived for many years in the world, but who has not spent those years in loving God, " The night cometh, when no man can work." (S. John ix. 4.) Death will be to him the time of night, when he will be able to do nothing. " He hath called against me the time." (Lament, i. 15, Vulg.) His conscience will then remind him of the time he has had, and how he has spent it in the ruin of his soul; the many calls and graces that he has received from God to become holy, and yet was not willing to profit by all this, and then he will behold the way of doing any good closed against him. Then will he weep and say, " Oh, fool that I have been! Oh, time for ever lost! Oh, wasted life! Oh, years that are lost in which I could have become holy, but I did not do so, and now there is no longer time to become holy." But what will these lamentations and sighs avail, when his life's scene is for ever closing, the lamp is well nigh spent, and the dying man is drawing near to that last moment upon which his eternity depends?
Affections and Prayers.
Ah, my Jesus, Thou hast given away Thy whole life to save my soul, there has been no moment of it in which Thou hast not offered Thyself to the Eternal Father, in order to obtain pardon and eternal salvation for me; and I have lived so long in the world, and until now I have never spent any time in Thy service. Alas! for everything I remember to have done fills me with remorse of conscience. My sin has been very grievous. The good that I have done has been too little and too full of imperfection, of lukewarmness, of self-love, and of distraction. Ah, my Redeemer, it has all been thus, because I was forgetful of all that Thou hast done for me. I have been forgetful of Thee, but Thou hast never been forgetful of me. Thou hast sought me whilst I was flying from Thee, and hast so often called me to Thy love. Behold me, my Jesus, I will no longer resist Thee. Shall I, indeed, wait until Thou dost give me up? I repent, O my Sovereign Good, for having separated myself from Thee through my sin. I love Thee, O Thou Infinite Good, Thou Who art indeed worthy of infinite love. Ah, do not allow me ever to waste the time which Thou in Thy mercy dost grant me. Do Thou ever remember, my beloved Saviour, the love Thou hast borne for me, and the pains Thou hast suffered for me. Make me remember all this, so that, during the life that may remain to me, I may only think of loving Thee and pleasing Thee. I love Thee, my Jesus, my love, my all. I promise Thee ever to perform acts of love when I can remember to do so. Give me holy perseverance. I trust entirely in the merits of Thy Blood.
Third Point.
"Walk while ye have the light." (S. John xii. 35.) We must walk in. the way of the Lord during life, even now that we have the light; for this light will be lost in death. The time of death is not the time to prepare, but to find ourselves prepared. " Be ye ready." When death comes, nothing can be done; what is then done is done. O God, if any one were to be told that before long a trial should take place upon which his life and all his property should depend, would he not hasten to obtain able counsel to plead his cause, and to find means to obtain favour! And what are we doing? We know for certain, that within a short time, and it may happen at any hour, the most important trial that we can undergo will take place, which will be the trial of our eternal salvation; and shall we lose time?
Some will say, but I am young, after some years I will give myself to God. But I answer, You know that the Lord cursed the fig-tree that He found without any fruit, although it was not the time for fruit, as is noticed in the Gospel. " For the time of figs was not yet." (S. Mark xi. 13.) By this Jesus Christ wished to show us, that man at every time even at the time of youth, ought to yield the fruits of good works, otherwise he will be cursed, and for the future will yield no fruit. " No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever." Thus did the Redeemer speak to that tree; and even thus does He curse that one whom He calls, but who resists His call. The devil considers the time of our life to be but short, and for that reason he loses no time in tempting us. " The devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth he hath but a short time." (Rev. xii. 12.) The enemy loses no time in tempting us, so that we may be lost; and shall we lose any time in seeking to be saved?
Others will say, "But what harm can I be doing?" O God, is it not doing harm, to waste time in play, or in useless conversations, which can bring no profit to the soul? Perhaps God grants this time to you, so that you may waste it? Holy Scripture tells us no; for " defraud not thyself of the good day." (Ecclus. xiv. 14.) Those labourers, of whom S. Matthew writes, did not do evil, but they wasted their time; and for this they were reproved by the master of the vineyard. "Why stand ye here all the day idle? " (S. Matt. xx. 6.) At the day of judgment Jesus Christ will ask us for an account of every idle word spoken. Any time that is not employed for God is time that is wasted. Therefore does the Lord exhort us, saying, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave whither thou goest." (Eccles. ix. 10.) A Teresian nun once observed that in the life of the saints there is no tomorrow; tomorrow is for sinners alone, who are ever saying, some day some day until death comes to overtake them. " Behold, now is the accepted time." (2 Cor. vi. 2.) " today, if ye will hear His voice, harden not your hearts." (Ps. xcv. 8.) God now calls upon thee to do good; do it at once; because, when tomorrow comes, either there may be no more time, or God may never call thee again.
And if during the time that is past you have unfortunately spent it in offending God, try to mourn over the sin during the life that remains to you. As King Hezekiah proposed to do, " I shall go softly all my years in the bitterness of my soul." (Isa. xxxviii. 15.) God gives you your life so that you may now in some measure redeem the time that is lost. " Redeeming the time because the days are evil." (iEphes. v. 16.) S. Austin comments upon this, and says, "Thou redeemest the time, if the things thou hast neglected to do, thou doest." S. Jerome observes of S. Paul, that although he was the last of the Apostles, yet he was the first in merits, because of all he did after he was called. Let us consider, that if there were nothing else, at each moment we could increase our store of eternal goods. If it were granted to you to gain as much land as you could walk round or as much money as you could count in one day, would you not make haste to walk round or to count it? And you can gain eternal treasures in one moment, and yet are you willing to waste the time? What you can do today, do not say you can do it tomorrow, because this day will be lost to you, and it will never return. S. Francis Borgia turned to God with such holy affection, when others spoke of the world, so that when his opinion was asked, he knew not what to answer. Being rebuked for this, he answered, " I would much rather be considered dull of understanding than waste my time."
Affections and Prayers.
No, my God, I will no longer waste that time which Thou in Thy mercy dost grant to me. I deserve now to be weeping fruitlessly in everlasting punishment. I thank Thee for having preserved me in life. Therefore, for the days which may remain to me, I will live only to Thee. If I were now in hell I should weep, but despairingly and without fruit. I wish to weep over the offences I have committed against Thee; and whilst weeping, I feel certain that Thou wilt pardon me; for the prophet assures me, that, " Thou shalt weep no more; He will be very gracious unto thee." (Isa. xxx. 19.) If I were now in hell I could never love Thee more; but now I love Thee, and hope ever to love Thee. If I were now in hell, I should never more be able to ask Thee for more grace; but now I can hear Thee saying, "Ask, and it shall be given you." Therefore, since I can still ask grace of Thee, these two gifts will I ask, O God of my soul; give me perseverance in Thy grace, and give me Thy love, and then do with me what Thou wilt. Grant that at every moment of life which may remain to me, I may ever commend myself to Thee, my Jesus, by saying, " Lord help me, Lord have mercy upon me; let me never more offend Thee; let me ever love Thee."