Something Like Nonsense Verses
1. — The Highland Jew
I saw a red-haired Jew from Aberdeen,
In a gaberdine,
At the Tabard Inn,
He wore a sword which was its scabbard in,
On a Wednesday!
2. — The Pious Q.C.
I saw MR. BIG BEN DENISON,
Ask a benison
On some venison,
Which he bought of ALFRED TENNYSON,
On a Wednesday.
3. — The Greek Maiden
I beg to state I love a yaller miss,
Born at Salamis,
And this gal, or miss,
Bound to meet me down at Balham is,
Every Wednesday!
4. — The Worthy Independent Minister
A worthy Independent minister,
Born at Finisterre,
Turning sinister,
Smothered his wife with fumes of kinaster
On a Wednesday!
5. — The Unhappy Marriage
Once I married a cook from charity,
But disparity,
And hair carrotty,
Made me treat her with barbarity
Every Wednesday!
6. — The Sensation Opera Troupe
I know a man who's going to offer GYE
Anthropophagi
(Or androphagi),
Who will sing with French hippophagi
Every Wednesday!
7. — The Unfortunate Revellers
Tipsy gents, the type of snobbery,
Drunk and slobbery,
Make a bobbery,
And the victims are of robbery
Every Wednesday.
8. — The Jealous Dancer
As I waltzed with JANE deliciously,
JONES officiously,
Injudiciously,
Bumped against us both most viciously,
On a Wednesday.
9. — The Polite Student
A civil student at my college (he
Learns horology
And conchology)
Offers me a full apology
Every Wednesday.
10. — The Undignified Nobleman
I know a nobleman whose publicity
And complicity
In mendicity
Is a fact of authenticity
Every Wednesday.
11. — The Absurd Chancellor
Once a chancellor of acidity
And timidity,
With rapidity
Used to sing out "Rum ti iddy ti!"
Every Wednesday.