The Merry Muses of Caledonia/Nine Inch will Please a Lady

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The Merry Muses of Caledonia by Robert Burns
Nine Inch will Please a Lady

NINE INCH WILL PLEASE A LADY.

Tune—"The Quaker's Wife,"

Anonymous, but evidently old; perhaps brushed up a little.

Come rede me, dame, come tell me, dame,
 My dame, come tell me truly.
What length o' graith, when weel ca'd hame,
 Will ser'e a woman duly?
The carlin clew her wanton tail,
 Her wanton tail sae ready;
I learn't a sang in Annandale,
 Nine inch will please a lady.

But for a countrie c—t like mine.
 In sooth we're nae sae gentle;
We'll tak' twa thumb-bread to the nine,
 And that's a sonsie p—t—e.
O leeze me on my Charlie lad!
 I'll ne'er forget my Charlie!
Twa roarin' handfu' and a daud,
 He nidg't it in fu' rarely.

But weary fa' the laithern doup.
 And may it ne'er ken thrivin';
It's no the length that gars me loup.
 But it's the double drivin'.
Come nidge me Tam, come nodge me Tam,
 Come nidge me o'er the nyvle;
Come louse and lug your batterin' ram.
 And thrash him at my gyvel.