Translation:Puss in Boots/Act 3/Prologue
ACT THREE
__________
Prologue
The parlor in the peasant's cottage.
_____
The Playwright, The Machinist.
Machinist
Do you really think then that that will do any good?
Playwright
I beg you, my honorable gentleman, I implore you, do not deny my request; you are my only hope; my salvation depends upon you.
Leutner
Hey, how come we're back here again? — What are these people doing in Gottlieb's parlor?
Schlosser
I just don't care anymore.
Machinist
But, my dear friend, you really are asking too much of me; you want all of this done in such a hurry, and without any rehearsal.
Playwright
Must you too persecute me? You are as bad as my enemies down there: you all rejoice in my misfortune.
Machinist
Not in the least.
Playwright
prostrating himself before him
Then prove it to me by complying with my request; if at any point the audience begins to express its displeasure as loudly as before, then at a signal from me set all the machines going! The finale of Act Two has already deviated quite a bit from my original script.
Machinist
Hey, What's this? — Who raised the curtain?
Playwright
Oh, it never rains but it pours! I am undone!
He rushes in embarrassment behind the scenes.
Machinist
I have never known as confusing an evening as this one.
Exit machinist. A pause.
Wiesener
Was that part of the play?
Wiesener's Neighbor
Of course; that scene will help us make sense of the following changes of scene.
Fischer
This evening will certainly go down in the annals.
King
behind the scenes
No, I'm not going out there again; I absolutely refuse; I couldn't bear to have them laugh at me again.
Playwright
But you — my dear friend — it can't be changed now.
Hanswurst
Well, I'm willing to chance it.
He steps forward and bows comically to the audience.
Müller
Hey, what's Hanswurst doing in the peasant's parlor now?
Schlosser
No doubt he is going to deliver a ludicrous soliloquy.
Hanswurst
Forgive me if I make bold to say a few words which are not actually in the script.
Fischer
If I were you I would save my breath. You're annoying enough as a character in the play; now you're just making things worse—
Schlosser
A mere jester, and he dares to address us!
Hanswurst
Why not? It doesn't worry me if people laugh at me; in fact, there is nothing that would please me more than if you should condescend to laugh at me. No, no, please, don't feel embarrassed; we're all friends here.
Leutner
That is pretty funny!
Hanswurst
Naturally, that which hardly becomes a king is all the more appropriate for a fool; his majesty, therefore, has declined to appear before you, and so it falls to me to make this important announcement.
Müller
We're not interested in anything you have to say!
Hanswurst
My dear fellow Germans—
Schlosser
I believe this play is set in Asia?
Hanswurst
Maybe, I don't know. But now, you understand, I am merely an actor speaking to the spectators. I am no longer Hanswurst, but rather an individual addressing the audience, an individual who is not a part of the theatrical illusion but is, as it were, outside the illusion: removed, rational, independent, untouched by the absurdity of art. You get the picture? Do you follow? Can you see the difference?
Schlosser
Goodbye! I'm off now. This is driving me bonkers. Just as I predicted.
Müller
We don't understand you at all.
Schlosser
How can you say such a thing to a clown?
Müller
But he just said that he's speaking now as an ordinary man.
Hanswurst
Please understand (and this is why I am here) that the scene you have just witnessed is not part of the play at all.
Fischer
Not part of the play? What was it doing there then?
Hanswurst
The curtain was raised too soon. It was a private conversation which would not have taken place on the stage at all if we had more room backstage. So much the worse if you were deceived, but we can't do anything about that now. You must try and eradicate that scene from your minds; because from this point on, you understand, from the moment I leave the stage, the third act will have really begun. Between ourselves, however, the preceding scene had nothing to do with it at all. Think of it as an extra scene thrown in for good measure, but which we would now like to take back. But fear not: you shall be compensated; in fact there is a lot coming up now which is very relevant to the plot, for I have spoken to the playwright himself and he has assured me of it.
Fischer
Yes, your playwright is a fine fellow indeed!
Hanswurst
He's useless, isn't he?
Müller
Absolutely. I'm glad to see, Hanswurst, that you are not completely lacking in discernment.
Hanswurst
And I'm really pleased to see that there is someone else who shares my taste—
The Pit
All of us, all of us! We all feel the same way.
Hanswurst
Your obedient servant; you do me too much honor. — Yes, God knows, he is a terrible writer — just to give you a simple example: look at the miserable part he has written for me! Where, pray, is the wit, the humor? My character appears in so few scenes, and I believe if I had not stepped forward just now, thanks to a fortunate mishap, I might not have appeared again at all.
Playwright
rushing onstage
Impudent fellow—
Hanswurst
You see! He is even jealous of the small part I am playing now.
Playwright
on the other side of the stage, bowing
Honored friends! I would never have dared give this man a more important part, since I know your taste—
Hanswurst
on the other side
Your taste? Now you see how jealous he is — and yet you have all just declared that my taste and your taste were both cast in the same mould.
Playwright
I only wished, by means of the present play, to prepare you for still more extravagant products of my imagination.
Everyone in the pit
Eh? — What's he saying?
Playwright
For only by degrees can the mind be taught to love the fantastic and the humorous.
Hanswurst
The humorous! He talks big, but it's just a load of hot air. But wait a minute, perhaps he has written good rôles, and we just create very different characters out of them onstage.
Playwright
In the meantime, I take my leave of you: the play has been held up long enough as it is. And once again I beg your forgiveness for the interruption.
Exit playwright.
Hanswurst
Goodbye, my dear friends, until we meet again.
He goes off, but immediately returns.
Hanswurst
By the way! One other thing! — The discussion which has just taken place among us is, strictly speaking, not part of the play either.
Exit Hanswurst.
Laughter in the pit.
Hanswurst
returning immediately
Let us finish this wretched piece today; pretend that you do not notice at all how bad it is, and as soon as I get home I'll sit down and write you a play that you will be sure to like.
Exit Hanswurst to much applause.