Translation:Shulchan Aruch/Even ha-Ezer/37

Paragraph 1- A father can marry off his daughter without her knowledge so long as she is a minor. Likewise, when she is a na’arah he has that authority, and any marriage money would go to her father. Likewise, he has rights to any lost item she finds, the proceeds from her work and any kesubah money she receives if she is divorced or widowed following erusin. He has the right to everything until she becomes an adult. Thus, a father can accept marriage for his daughter from the day she is born until she becomes an adult. Even if the girl was a deaf-mute or insane and the father married her off, she would have the status of a bona-fide married woman. If the girl was three years old or older, she can be married with sexual relations with her father’s knowledge. If she is younger than that and her father gave her for a marriage via sexual relations, she would not be married. There are those who say that marriage would not take effect on a stillborn, and if the father accepted marriage for it and the husband later marries the stillborn’s sister, a get would be required.

Paragraph 2- Once the girl becomes an adult, the father would not have no authority over her, and she would be like any other woman who can only be married with her consent. Whether a woman is believed to say she became an adult is discussed later in 164:11 and 155:15.

Paragraph 3- Likewise, if a father married off his daughter and she was widowed or divorced while her father was alive, she is in her own domain. Even if she is still a minor, once she had nissuin done her father never has authority over her again. If she only had kiddushin done and was widowed or divorced many times before becoming an adult, however, she would revert to her father’s domain.

Paragraph 4- If a woman married herself off before she became an adult without her father’s consent she would not be married.

Paragraph 5- If a father married off his daughter in the morning, and the girl married herself off in the evening, both on the day the six months of na’arus concluded, and they checked and discovered she was an adult, we would presume she was an adult and her father’s marriage is of no effect. There are those who say that this applies even if she does not contradict her father by saying that her signs of adulthood had arrived in the morning. There are others who say it only applies where she contradicts him. If she does not contradict him, however, a get would be required from both of them.

Paragraph 6- If a girl’s father married her off without her consent within the six months of na’arus and she married herself off without her father’s consent, and they discovered signs of adulthood on her, her status is uncertain and she would need a get from both of them.

Paragraph 7- Just as a father can marry off his daughter himself, so too can he marry her off via an agent or the daughter herself by telling her to accept the marriage. He must tell her this in front of witnesses because an agent for acceptance of marriage requires witnesses, as was discussed above in 35:3. If it was known by all that he was preparing her for the chuppa and to accept her marriage proposal, it is as if he told in the presence of witnesses. There is no distinction between a na’arah and a minor. This is the primary view. There are those who disagree, however, and say that a minor girl cannot accept marriage and only her father can. In order to avoid any dispute, the father should grasp the minor’s hand at the time she accepts the marriage or stand next to her when she accepts it because then it is as if he accepted it. This is better than having him accept it himself because there are those who say one is prohibited from marrying off his minor daughter, as will be discussed shortly. When one marries a minor, he says “you shall be married to me.” If he says, “your daughter shall be married to me,” she would be married because she is taking the place of her father, notwithstanding the fact that the man is giving her the marriage. If the man is marrying her via document, he would write, “your daughter shall be married to me” in the document. When he gives her the document he would say “you shall be married to me.” If he deviated from any of the foregoing verbiage, she would still be married. When fathers send their minor daughters to another location and the father is not present when she accepts the marriage, because he prepared her to go to the chuppa and for the marriage, it is as if he grasped her hand when she accepted.

Paragraph 8 There is a mitzvah not to marry off one’s daughter while she is a minor until she becomes an adult and says “I desire so-and-so.” There are those who say that today we have the custom to marry off our daughters while they are minors because we are in exile and we often do not have the resources for a dowry. We are also a people small in number and cannot always find a proper match. This is indeed the custom.

Paragraph 9- If a father granted authority to his agent to marry off his daughter, and the father himself went and married her off to someone else, as did the agent, whichever marriage occurred first would be effective. If it is uncertain which one occurred first, she would be prohibited to both and would require a get from both.

Paragraph 10- If a father appointed another agent and did not explicitly void the first agent, and each agent went and married off the daughter, she would need a get from both husbands.

Paragraph 11- If a minor or na’arah married herself off, or had nissuin done, without her father’s consent, it is of no effect. Even an annulment would not be required, even if her father had initially arranged the match and even if the father explicitly consented following the marriage. There are those who say that if the father consented from the time he heard of the marriage, the marriage would be effective from the time he heard, even if he did not arrange the match. Even if he did not immediately consent when heard but was silent and did not object, and he later consented, the conclusion is indicative of what happened initially and the marriage would be valid from the time he heard, even if the money was already used up by that time. There are those who say that if the money was used up prior to him hearing the marriage would not be valid. When is this true? Where neither she nor her father object before the father consented. If she or her father objected before he consented, however, the marriage would not be effective, even if the father later consented. There are those who say that if the father heard and was silent and did not immediately object, it is as if he consented. If the father did not hear or went overseas and the daughter became an adult and was silent and did not object, the marriage matured with her and she would need a get. There are those who say sexual relations following adulthood is required. One should be stringent like the first view.

Paragraph 12- If a minor married herself off to someone whom the father has indicated he desires she marry, we would be concerned he may have consented.

Paragraph 13- If a girl had kiddushin with her father’s knowledge and then did nissuin without his knowledge, regardless of whether her father was here or went overseas, the nissuin is invalid. If the woman dies, her husband would not inherit her nor make himself impure via her body. There are those who say that the same would applies of the father died before nissuin and she then performed nissuin.

Paragraph 14- If a minor girl’s father went overseas and her brother or mother married her off, the marriage is valid and an annulment would be required. When the father returns, no additional marriage is necessary. There are those who say the marriage is not valid and she would not even need an annulment. Nevertheless, we would not prohibit her to the husband as if she were single and living illicitly with him because they went through the process of kiddushin and nissuin. Even if the father were to come and object, the girl would not be prohibited to her husband and her sexual relations with him would not be one of promiscuity. She can remain with him until she becomes an adult and they would then consummate the marriage. If the father were to marry her to someone else before she becomes an adult, however, she would need a get from both men. One should be stringent like the first view. There are those who are even more stringent and say that where the father is overseas, even if the minor herself married we are concerned that if the father heard he would consent and her marriage is thus uncertain. An incident occurred where one divorced his wife and he had agreed with her that she would be responsible to feed, raise and marry off their daughters, which is what she did. The father then came and objected to the daughters’’ marriage. The Rabbis ruled that if he instructed his ex-wife to marry them and raise them, and what she did was effective and he has no power to object, so long as he had instructed her in the presence of witnesses because an agent on acceptance requires witnesses, as was discussed above in 35:3. If he had agreed that she can marry them off when they become adults and she married them off as minors, however, her actions are of no effect and he may object because she deviated from what he had instructed her.

Paragraph 15- If one marries off his daughter without specifying which one or if he said, “one of my daughters shall be married to you,” any adult daughter would not be included, even if such adult gave her father authority to accept marriage on her behalf and to keep the money. This is only where she appointed him as an agent to accept marriage without specification and did not mention a specific individual. If she said “from so-and-so,” however, she would also be in the category of daughter whose marriage is uncertain. The other adult daughter would not be included.

Paragraph 16- If one has two daughters, even if they are both minors, and he arranged for the engagement of one of them to a man, and later accepted marriage from the man who said “your daughter shall be married to me,” even if they were discussing the engagement, she would be prohibited to him and would need a get from him. Even if within kidei dibur he specified “your daughter, so-and-so,” it would be of no effect. In all such situations where it is a marriage that cannot allow for sexual relations we would compel the husband to give a get. If one marries his daughter off without specification, adult daughters would not be included.

Paragraph 17- If one has two sets of daughters from two wives, and he has the authority to marry them all off, and he tells the husband at the time of the marriage that he is marrying off his oldest daughter, but it is unclear whether he means the oldest of the oldest pair, the oldest of the youngest pair or the youngest of the oldest pair who is older than the younger pair, all the women would be permitted except for the oldest of the oldest.

Paragraph 18- Likewise, if the father said he is marrying off his youngest daughter and it is unclear whether he means the youngest of the youngest pair, the youngest of the oldest pair or the oldest of the younger pair who is younger than the older pair, they would all be permitted except the youngest of the younger pair.

Paragraph 19- If one has five sons, who all appointed him as an agent to marry for them, and the father of the five sons told a father of five daughters, “one of your daughters shall be married to one of my sons,” and the father accept the marriage, all the women will need a get from all the brothers. If one of them died, each woman would receive four gittin and chalitza from one brother.

Paragraph 20- If a father said he married his daughter but does not know to whom, she would be prohibited to the entire world until he says he knows whom she is married to, even it was not known until she became an adult. There are those who say that if the groom comes initially and the father does not recognize him and later says he does recognize him, he is not believed.

Paragraph 21- If a man comes and says in the presence of the father that he married her, he would be believed and the girl is permitted to him because the father says he does not know. When he brings her in he does not have to perform the marriage ceremony. If the father contradicts him, however, there are those who say he is not even believed to require a get.

Paragraph 22- If two people come and each one says he married her, they would both give a get. If they want, one can give a get and the other can marry her. He would need to perform the marriage ceremony when bringing her in because she was divorced by a third party.

Paragraph 23- If one comes and brings her in and then another comes and says he had married her, he would not be believed to prohibit her to her husband. There are those who say that he doesn’t have to literally bring her in and even if they just permitted him to bring her in it is as if he brought her in.

Paragraph 24- If a woman says she married herself off but does not know to whom, and someone comes and says he married her, he would be believed to give her a get and allow her to marry someone else, but would not be believed to bring her in. If he does bring her in, we would not force him to have her leave. If there is a solo witness to the fact that he married her, he can even bring her in the first instance.

Paragraph 25- If a father says about her daughter while she is a minor or na’arah that he married her off and divorced her, he would be believed with respect to disqualifying her to a kohen. This is only where he said he divorced her within kidei dibur of saying he married her off. In a case where she has been established as a married woman on the father’s say-so, however, he is not believed to later say he divorced her.

Paragraph 26- If the father said after his daughter had become an adult that he married her off and divorced her while she was a minor, he would not be believed.

Paragraph 27- If a father said he married off his daughter and then marries her off to someone else and says the initial marriage was witnessed by biblically disqualified witnesses and the marriage was of no effect, he would be believed. It seems to me that he is only believed within kidei dibur, as is discussed above in paragraph 25.