of all treasures for God's glory, the salvation of souls, and her own eternal bliss. It was this lively faith, animated by ardent love, that explains her seemingly strange yet profound remark: "My feastdays are the days on which the good God tries me most." Are they mine too…?
(3) Refined Joy.—The joy which St. Therese showed in her sufferings was deep and sincere, but there must be no misunderstanding—it was not sensible joy, for in this her keen spiritual intuition penetrating the disguise saw clearly a form of delicate self-love: "If you wish to know joy and love suffering, you are really seeking your own consolation, because once we love, all suffering disappears." The joy of which she spoke is quite different: "Here I find but one joy, that of suffering, and this joy, which is not one of sense, is above all joy."
This joy "is rather peace, for he who says peace does not say joy, or at least sensible joy: to suffer in peace it is enough to will heartily all that our Lord wills." It is a joy similar to that of the Divine Victim in His Passion: "Our Lord in the garden of Olives enjoyed all the delights of the Trinity, and yet His agony was none the less cruel. This is a great mystery, but I assure you, I can form some inkling of it from that which I myself am enduring." Her joy is utterly selfless, for she rejoices in the very fact of being without joy if this state gives joy to God: "My joy it is that joy is past and gone my Lord's consoling smile." "There are people who make the worst of everything. As for me, I do just the contrary. I always see the good side of things, and even if my portion be suffering without a glimmer of solace, well, I make IT my joy."
"If Thou leavest me too,
O my one Pearl Divine,
Without e'en a caress,
Then shall Thy joy be mine!"
"Did you but know how great is my joy at giving joy to Jesus through being utterly deprived of all joy! Truly this is the very refinement of all joy—joy we do not feel!" Is mine also such…?
