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"ASK A POLICEMAN"

1. "CONSTABLE, THAT CABMAN HAS BEEN GROSSLY INSOLENT TO ME! I INSIST ON YOUR TAKING HIS NUMBER"

2. "CONSTABLE, THAT DEAD DOG HAS LAIN HERE FOR THREE DAYS. I INSIST ON YOUR REMOVING IT INSTANTLY!"

3. "CUSH'BLE, THEESH PAVEMENTS POSH'V'LY DANG'ROUS! I INSIST ON YOUR SETTING 'EM SHTRAIGHT!"

4. "OH! CONSTABLE, THOSE PEOPLE OPPOSITE ARE SOLD OUT OF CASHMERE AT ONE AND SEVENPENCE THREE-FARTHINGS A YARD! CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE TO GO?"

DEAR MRS. PRETTYPET, THINKING TO SURPRISE HER HUSBAND ON HIS RETURN FROM A BUSINESS TOUR, CALLED IN THE ASSISTANCE OF A LANDSCAPE GARDENER—WITH THE ABOVE CHARMING RESULT!

BY DOCTOR'S ORDERS, OLDBOY RUNS ROUND THE GARDEN FOR HALF AN HOUR BEFORE BREAKFAST EVERY MORNING. UNFORTUNATELY, THE BOYS OF THE NEIGHBOURHOOD GET TO HEAR OF IT.