Page:The Strand Magazine (Volume 4).djvu/538

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THE QUEER SIDE OF THINGS.
541

that when any two or three of those that wrote puffs in the newspapers should meet together they would say, the one to the other, "For he is a jolly good fellow!"

And these also were greatly comforted and full of joy.

Then he that had the bright eye, even he that shook hands in so affable a way, got introduced to the wives and families of them that wrote puffs in the newspapers; and, that the wives and families also might not feel lonesome and out in the cold, he gave them little things, both this little thing and the other little thing; so that there was no end of the little things which he gave them; for he would give them all manner of little things, even peaches and peppermint-drops, and parasols, and books, and birthday cards, and bric-à-brac. And their babies also would he treat with great honour, presenting them with corals and teething-rings. And these persons also were content.


"Corals and teething-rings."

And it came to pass that, after a while, those that wrote puffs in the newspapers became so filled with a sense of the affability of him of the bright eye, that when they sat at their desks a-writing puffs for the newspapers, they would say within themselves: "As he is so affable, it stands to reason that the work of his hand must be very good and clever." So they did not examine his work (for it was not their business to examine any man's work; their business was to write puffs), but straightway set down in the newspaper: "His work is very clever; he is a great man" yet they said no word in the newspaper concerning his affability, nor of his asking after the health of their wives and families.

And this thing grew upon them so that at length they could not forbear from putting mention of him into all subjects of which they wrote, even though these subjects had no connection with him; as, for instance, they would say: "The Queen held a Drawing Room on such a day. He of the knowing eye did not attend"; or, "So-and-so was condemned to penal servitude at the Central Criminal Court; but he of the knowing eye (whose work is so clever) had nothing to do with the case, and was not present" or, "Shares are dull, but he is never dull," and so forth.

And these mentions were meant to be read by the Public, and the Public read them; and, moreover, they that wrote the puffs in the newspapers would often look out from the door of the newspaper office as the Public went by and call out: "He of the knowing eye is a very great man"; and yet they never spoke of his being so affable and inquiring; nor did they call out to the Public from the door of the private bar.

But it is needful to explain who the Public were. They were a class or sect whose duty it was to be innocent and helpless and easily taken in, and there was exceeding great care exercised in the selection of those who were to be members of the Public; for the moment that one of them showed any aptitude for helping himself (especially any aptitude for helping himself to that which belonged to others) he was straightway cast out from being a member of the Public and was compelled to become a member of the Legislature, or of a county council, or of a vestry, or to take up some other capacity in which it was his duty to defraud the Public. And it was the duty