Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3809/The New Professional Humility
["I have always held a decided opinion that the less people trouble themselves about literature the better for them."—M. Pierre Loti (vide "Daily Chronicle.")]
Sir Thomas Lipton. How can a tea-drinking people hope to lift the Cup? Tannin is a poison fatal to the true sportsman.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer. The interest taken in politics diverts attention from everything that really matters.
The Poet Laureate. Poetry is not only a drug on the market, it is a drug that narcotises and debilitates all true manhood.
Mr. Eustace H. Miles. Vegetarianism is fit only for pigs. The noble king of the forest is a meat-eater.
Lord Roberts. The military bias is the only obstacle to peace.
Mme. Clara Butt. The human voice was given us for fish-hawking and encouraging football-players, not for singing.
Sir H. Beerbohm Tree. I cannot think why anyone goes to the theatre. It bores me horribly.
Mr. H. G. Wells. The past alone possesses interest for intelligent men.
Mr. G. K. Chesterton. Orthodoxy, it has been said, is my doxy; heterodoxy is other people's doxy; but paradoxy is the devil's doxy.
Sir E. Elgar. Music? How can any serious man fiddle while Rome is burning?
Sir E. J. Poynter. The Royal Academy is crushing the life out of English Art. The country's only hope is in Cubism.
Signor Marinetti. Your Royal Academy is the true Temple of Art. I never cross its threshold without first removing my sandals.