XLIII.
I see but one means to avoid these difficulties. If they will divide my work into ten parts, and only hold me accountable for the tenth part of it, I will be satisfied. If they take from me even this benefit, I shall not be wronged, because I am convinced that I need not wait to be judged by God in the life beyond the grave. My conscience will be my judge; and it will not torture me with remorse, for I believe that I have always applied myself to do right. And yet if there is any doubtful case, I will resign myself to the decision of God.
XLIV.
My readers desire perhaps to know what are the griefs that have dried up my blood. They are these:
1st. I have not the habit of writing, as you may see. I have been obliged to re-write the same article several times. You will see from that, the imperative need 1 have felt of doing my work.
2d. I have composed this work in the midst of painful labors in the field. I go to my labors in the daytime, and at night I write, and with much difficulty, because I do not see well, even with spectacles.
3d. If I had been rich, I would have had teachers, counsellors, and literary aid. But while I am not entirely poor, my possessions are very modest. And 1 have also not been well received where I have spoken of my project.
4th. Is my family numerous? In other words,
