- versely, his happiness and peace of mind become her first
desire.
And now she has tapped in on the greatest psychological joy of woman—her capacity to give. If you remember, in an earlier chapter we called this "essential female altruism," a characteristic rooted in every woman's biological nature. Women who are really secure within themselves and in their roles have an inexhaustible store of this altruism. Frigid women fear this basic characteristic, feeling as they do that men will exploit and abuse their desire to give.
As she reaps the rewards of her new capacity to give of herself unstintingly and fearlessly to her husband and her children, the very appearance of a woman often begins to change. Drawn expressions relax, anxious forehead wrinkles disappear, thin-lipped mouths soften. Indeed, her whole body rounds and softens, taking on the look associated with a tender and giving femininity.
Physical difficulties often disappear. I have known women who had been plagued with intense pre-menstrual and menstrual pains all their lives to lose such symptoms in a matter of weeks. I have known women whose irregular periods have become regularized. And I have also known women with one or two desperately difficult pregnancies behind them who, becoming pregnant again, went through the entire nine months not only without discomfort but with a highly accelerated feeling of pleasure and well-being.
These, then, are the results, or some of them, that a woman who is willing to give up the things of childhood and yield to her true self may expect. The return on such an investment of self is enormous. It is paid in the coinage of love returned for love given; love from one's husband and children, love from friends, new and old, attracted by the endless largesse of the woman who has surrendered all to find all.
