Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/415

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THE ART OF PUNNING.
405

Swift[1], who said, when a lady threw down a Cremona fiddle with a frisk of her Mantua,


"Mantua væ miseræ nimium vicina Cremonæ!"


Or, if you would have a more obvious reason, St. Dennis never made a pun after his head was cut off. Vid. Popish Legend, tom. lxxviii, p. 15000.

R. 2. The Rule of Forehead. He must have good assurance, like my lord ——, who puns in all companies.

R. 3. The Brazen Rule. He must have better assurance, like brigadier ——, who said, "That, as he was passing through a street, he made up to a country fellow who had a hare swinging on a stick over his shoulder, and, giving it a shake, asked him, Whether it was his own hair, or a periwig?" Whereas it is a notorious Oxford jest.

R. 4. The Rule of Impudence. He must have the best assurance, like Dr. ——, who, although I had in three fair combats worsted him, yet had the impudence to challenge me a fourth time.

R. 5. Any person may pun upon another man's puns about half an hour after he has made them; as Dr. —— and Mr. —— frequently do.

I remember one day I was in company with them, and, upon major —— saying, "That he would leave me the gout for a legacy;" I made answer, and told the company, "I should be sorry to have such a leg as he." They both snapped it up in

  1. He greatly excelled in punning; a talent which, he said, no man affected to despise, but those that were without it. He recorded the puns of several of his friends; wrote a ballad, full of puns, on the Westminster election (of which we have not been able to obtain a copy); and has given three humorous essays in that important science, vol. XVI, pp. 244, 249, 280.
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