The Fourth Book/Chapter XXX

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The Fourth Book
by François Rabelais
Translated by Thomas Urquhart and Peter Antony Motteux


How Shrovetide is anatomized and described by Xenomanes

As for the inward parts of Shrovetide, said Xenomanes; his brain is (at least, it was in my time) in bigness, colours, substance, and strength, much like the left cod of a he hand-worm.


The ventricles of his said brain, The stomach, like a belt.
  like an auger. The pylorus, like a pitchfork.
The worm-like excrescence, like The windpipe, like an oyster-
  a Christmas-box. knife.
The membranes, like a monk's The throat, like a pincushion
  cowl. stuffed with oakum.
The funnel, like a mason's chisel. The lungs, like a prebend's
The fornix, like a casket. fur-gown.
The glandula pinealis, like a bag- The heart, like a cope.
  pipe. The mediastine, like an earthen
The rete mirabile, like a gutter. cup.
The dug-like processus, like a The pleura, like a crow's bill.
  patch. The arteries, like a watch-coat.
The tympanums, like a whirli- The midriff, like a montero-cap.
  gig. The liver, like a double-tongued
The rocky bones, like a goose- mattock.
  wing. The veins, like a sash-window.
The nape of the neck, like a paper The spleen, like a catcall.
  lantern. The guts, like a trammel.
The nerves, like a pipkin. The gall, like a cooper's adze.
The uvula, like a sackbut. The entrails, like a gauntlet.
The palate, like a mitten. The mesentery, like an abbot's
The spittle, like a shuttle. mitre.
The almonds, like a telescope. The hungry gut, like a button.
The bridge of his nose, like a The blind gut, like a breastplate.
  wheelbarrow. The colon, like a bridle.
The head of the larynx, like a The arse-gut, like a monk's
  vintage-basket. leathern bottle.
The kidneys, like a trowel. The ligaments, like a tinker's
The loins, like a padlock. budget.
The ureters, like a pothook. The bones, like three-cornered
The emulgent veins, like two cheesecakes.
  gilliflowers. The marrow, like a wallet.
The spermatic vessels, like a The cartilages, like a field-
  cully-mully-puff. tortoise, alias a mole.
The parastata, like an inkpot. The glandules in the mouth, like
The bladder, like a stone-bow. a pruning-knife.
The neck, like a mill-clapper. The animal spirits, like swingeing
The mirach, or lower parts of the fisticuffs.
  belly, like a high-crowned hat. The blood-fermenting, like a
The siphach, or its inner rind, multiplication of flirts on the
  like a wooden cuff. nose.
The muscles, like a pair of bellows. The urine, like a figpecker.
The tendons, like a hawking- The sperm, like a hundred
  glove. ten-penny nails.

And his nurse told me, that being married to Mid-lent, he only begot a good number of local adverbs and certain double fasts.

His memory he had like a scarf. His undertakings, like the ballast
His common sense, like a buzzing of a galleon.
  of bees. His understanding, like a torn
His imagination, like the chime breviary.
  of a set of bells. His notions, like snails crawling
His thoughts, like a flight of star- out of strawberries.
  lings. His will, like three filberts in a
His conscience, like the unnest- porringer.
  ling of a parcel of young His desire, like six trusses of hay.
  herons. His judgment, like a shoeing-
His deliberations, like a set of horn.
  organs. His discretion, like the truckle of
His repentance, like the carriage a pulley.
  of a double cannon. His reason, like a cricket.