Crafty miller, or, The mistaken batchelor/The crafty miller; or, The mistaken batchelor

THE CRAFTY MILLER;
OR, THE
MISTAKEN BATCHELOR.

YOU gallants of Britain, I pray now draw near,
The tricks of a miller you quickly shall hear,
A gentleman had a fine water mill,
And in it this poor honest miller did dwell,
But fortune did frown as it doth appear,
He could pay no rent for the space of two year.
⁠Fal lal de ral, la de, etc.

⁠The Landlord resolv'd he would make no strife,
Tho' greatly inflam'd with the poor Miller's wife.
Honest Miller, he cry'd, I beg you'll not moan,
For if you can't pay me, pray let it alone.
Come, come to the tavern, it is my design,
To give you the share of a bottle of wine.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠Being mellow with wine, as we all may suppose,
The Landlord cries Miller, my mind I'll disclose;
'Tis true, I'm in love with your honest bride,
And if you'll consent, I shall ly by her side,
I mean to surrender with heart and good will,
The rent that you owe me and give you the mill
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠Kind Sir, says the Miller, I grant your desire,
My wife's at your will when you please to ly by her
I freely consent, you shall have your will,
But now let's have writings concerning the mill
With all my heart the Landlord did say,
We'll have them drawn here without more delay
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠But, quoth the Miller, it will be a jeer,
If that we in public do let it appear;
To fare both our credits, and bring it to pass,
I have in the meadow a dainty she ass,
That will appear better the bond for to fill,
For the lend of the ass you must give me the mill.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠Well said, says the Landlord, that will end the strife,
But you know that my meaning's to ly with your wife.
Indeed, says the Miller, you shall have your delight,
But who shall we get this bond for to write;
As fortune would have it the Parson came by,
The Landlord he saw him, and to him did cry.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠Kind Sir, here's a bond I beg you will fill,
That I give to this Miller a good water mill,
And quit him the rent for two years past,
And all for the lending to me his she ass,
That is a good act the Parson did say,
The bond I will fill without more delay.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠When the Miller the bond in his pocket had got,
Took leave of his Landlord, & homeward did trot,
He whistled and sung, and laugh'd in his sleeve,
To think how his Landlord he meant to deceive,
The bond is secure, the bargain is fast,
Instead of my wife he shall have my she ass,
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠The Gentleman he was as brisk as an eel,
And soon the next morning some courage did feel;
He call'd to his man, and he gave him a glass,
Saying, Go to the Miller and fetch his she ass,
Now mind that you get your story quite pat,
He'll know what you mean, but-mum for ill that.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠The servant he down to the Miller did haste,
And told him his Master must have his she ass
The Miller he smil'd, but nothing he said,
But taking a halter, goes down to the mead;
Then leading the ass up, and when he had done.
The servant said Miller, sure this is high fun.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠My Master's commands I'll quickly obey,
Then taking the ass he led her away;
As the Master had order'd, he sweep'd out the hall,
And soon it became a she ass's stall!
But the wine and the fowls he kept for his pains,
For the ass it was dumb, and could not complain.
⁠Fal la; de ral, etc.

⁠When he came to his Master, he whispering said,
Sir, I've bought home that mettlesome jade.
That's well, said the Master, my counsel now keep,
I fancy by this time she wants for to sleep,
Go tell the housekeeper to put her to bed,
With clean holland sheets, and the best coverlid.
⁠Fal lal dc ral, etc.

⁠The housekeeper & servants they laugh'd amain,
To hear that the ass in bed must be lain.
Then madam was dress'd in her pinners so neat,
And they put her to bed, and cover'd her feet,
They bid her ly still, so they all went to rest,
But now comes the end and cream of the jest.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠The Master came home quite pleas'd to the life,
And thought to embrace the Miller's fair wife;
Then asking his man if his dear was asleep
And into the room quite softly did creep.
Jack laught till he pist, and crept up for to see,
How his Master and Jenny did seem to agree.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠He sat down on the bed, and the ass gave a groan;
He said, My dear jewel, I beg you'll not moan;
I long have admired your beautiful face,
And now I have bought you, I will you embrace,
So then into bed he tumbled amain,
But to his surprise he was kick'd out again.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠What the devil is this in my chamber? said he,
Said Jack, 'tis the ass that the Miller gave me.
That rogue of a Miller has trick'd me at last,
Instead of his wife has sent his she ass.
Then he said to his servants, my counsel pray keep,
And turn this damn'd ass into the street.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.

⁠The ass she was found the next day at a fair,
Which made all the country gaffers to stare;
The pinners and smock they took from her hide,
And held it convenient the ass should be cry'd.
The Miller he came, and the ass he did own,
And thro' every village the story was known.
⁠Fal lal de ral, etc.