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unthrifty poor relative and finds it most convenient to unload him upon the government. The member of Congress receives the two most cordially, and asks what he can do for them. “I want a government clerkship for my nephew,” says Mr. Brown. “You know what I did for you in the campaign—my contribution to the war chest and the votes of all my people,—” “Of course,” interrupts the member of Congress, “I know what recognition I and the party owe you. Your nephew seems to be a splendid fellow, too!” “Well,” says Mr. Brown, “as to that, I don't think he knows much, but he may learn.” “Never mind that,” says the member of Congress, smilingly, “that will be all right. Send him on to Washington.” In Washington he takes young Mr. Green to one of the Departments. “I must have a clerkship for this young man,” he says to the Secretary, “and a good one, too. He is the nephew of one of my most powerful constituents whom I am bound to oblige.” The Secretary sees the necessity.
There are pass examinations held in the department—that is to say, examinations conducted by the appointing power itself, to which only candidates with influential recommendations behind them are admitted, not seriously to compete with each other, but, at best, to show that they are not absolute dunces or idiots. These examinations are a mere hollow form, as influence rules it all. The member of Congress asks that they be made easy to young Mr. Green. He receives a knowing wink in reply, and the thing is made easy. Mr. Green is asked to add up two and two and to give the name of the capital city of the Union—questions which were once actually asked within my knowledge. Mr. Green issues triumphantly from the ordeal.
But there is no vacancy. What of it? A vacancy must be made. It is found that some clerk in the Department has “lost his influence,” that is, the member of Congress on whose recommendation he was appointed has died or dropped out of politics. The clerk is indeed very meritorious and valuable, but having lost his influence, and no new influence turning up, he is removed to make room for young Green. Young Green soon shows a fondness for strong drink and neglect of duty, and he is threatened with dismissal. He complains to his member of Congress who rushes at once to the Secretary,
