Fables for the Fair/Fable 2
THE WOMAN WHO HELPED HER HUSBAND
THE WOMAN WHO HELPED HER HUSBAND
THERE was once a Woman whose Husband Depended on the State of the Market for his Daily Toast. One Day he Appeared before Her with a Sad Countenance.
"All is Over, my Dear," said he. "Wheat is 'Way Down, and I Doubt if after To-morrow we shall have More than Ten Thousand a Year to Live On. I am Sorry that I Married you to Drag you Down to This, but I must Tell you Sooner or Later. I am a Ruined Man."
"Nay, do not Lose Heart," said his Wife. "Can you not Speculate Further?"
"I Cannot," he replied, "for I have Lost my Nerve. My Friends Urge me to Throw what I Have into Copper, but I Dare Not. Five Thousand a Year would Hardly buy Croquettes for Two. I would Better Keep what I have Saved from the Smash."
"At any rate," said she, "Come Out and Have some Lunch. Let us Go to Sherry's and get a Nice Little Bird; then you will Feel Better."
"Bird!" exclaimed her Husband. "Unhappy Woman, if you see Anything Better than Broiled Chicken and Beef à la Mode for the Rest of Your Life, you will Do Well. In My present Frame of Mind I would Suggest a Night Lunch-cart."
"Let us have One Good Meal, at least," urged his Wife, "Before we Die to the World. I have Twenty Dollars in my Purse. I will Buy our Lunch with that. After that the Night-Lunch."
"Very Well, for the Last Time," replied her Husband.
They then went to an Expensive Restaurant and Ate a more than Satisfactory Luncheon. At the end of it her Husband said:
“I think Better of that Copper than I Did."
Then he went Back to Wall Street and Made Sixty Thousand Dollars in Thirty-eight Minutes.
This teaches us that Digestion is the Better Part of Valor.