Advice to Young Ladies/Chapter 6

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Advice to Young Ladies
by Timothy Shay Arthur
3438620Advice to Young LadiesTimothy Shay Arthur

Chapter VI.

Improvement of the Mind.

We often find two persons, who have been equally well educated at school, one of whom is greatly in advance of the other, in point of intelligence. This does not always arise from the superior ability of one, but because one of them had read, thought, and observed, more than the other. What we gain at school is only the means of becoming wise and useful. If we let it lie inactive in our minds, it will do us no good. How quickly does a young lady lose her power over the piano, if she neglect the instrument! How soon is a language forgotten, if we do not attempt to speak or write it! And this is true of nearly every thing that is acquired at school. It lies merely in the outer court of the memory, and does not enter and make any permanent impression upon the mind, until it is practised and made useful in every-day life.

We often hear it said of a woman, in society, that she is a well-educated woman; and the inference usually drawn is, that she has received a liberal education at school. But the remark means something more; it means that she is a reading, observing, and reflecting woman. Hundreds have their memories crowded with the rudiments of an education, that lie there as inactive as food in the stomach of a dyspeptic; and they imagine themselves to be well educated; but it is all an imagination. To be well educated is something very different from this.

All real improvement of the mind commences at the time we first begin to think for ourselves; and this is after we have left school. At school, we merely acquire the means to be used in that true and higher order of education which every one must gain for himself. It matters not how many studies a young lady may have pursued at school, nor how thoroughly she may have mastered all she attempted to learn: if, after leaving school, she do not read, observe, and think, she will never make an intelligent woman.

In every company a young lady will find two classes of persons, distinctly separated from each other. If she mingle with those of one class, she will find their conversation to consist almost entirely of light and frivolous remarks on people’s habits, dress, and manners, with the occasional introduction of a graver theme, that is quickly set aside, or treated with a levity entirely at variance with its merits. But if she mingle with those of the other class, she will find herself at once upon a higher plane, and be impressed with the pleasing consciousness that she has a mind that can think and feel interested in subjects of general and more weighty interest. An hour spent with the one class leaves her mind obscure and vacant; while an hour spent with the other elevates, expands, and strengthens its powers, and causes it to see in a clearer atmosphere.

With one or the other of these classes a young lady is almost sure to identify herself, and rise into an intelligent woman, or remain nearly upon the level she at first occupied. We need not say how important it is for her to identify herself with the right class. Of course, her own tastes and preferences will have much to do in this matter. But, if she incline towards the unthinking and frivolous, she will be wise if she resist such an inclination, and compel herself, for a time, to mingle with those who look upon life with the eye of rational intelligence, and seek to live to some good purpose. The mental food received during the time she thus compels herself to mingle with them will create an appetite that unsubstantial gossip and frothy chit-chat can no longer satisfy.

The importance and necessity of reading need hardly be affirmed. Its use is fully understood and admitted. But there is great danger of enervating the mind by improper reading. For a young girl to indulge much in novel-reading is a very serious evil. Few of the popular novels of the day are fit to go into the hands of a young and imaginative girl. Apart from the false views of life which they present, and the false philosophy which they too often inculcate, they lift an inexperienced reader entirely above the real, from whence she has too little inclination to come down; and whenever she does come down, she is unhappy, because she finds none of the ideal perfections around her, with which her imagination has become filled, but is forever coming into rude contact with something that shocks her over-refined sensibilities. Her own condition in life she will be in great danger of contrasting with that of some favorite heroine of romance. If she do this, she will be almost sure to make herself miserable. A young lady who indulges much in novel-reading never becomes a woman of true intelligence. She may be able to converse fluently, and to make herself at times a very agreeable companion, even to those who are greatly her superiors: but she has no strength of intellect, nor has she right views of life.

All works of fiction, however, are not bad. Where the author’s aim is to give right views of life, and to teach true principles, if he possess the requisite ability to execute his design well, he may do great good. The reading of works of this kind forms not only a healthy mental recreation, but creates a true sympathy in the mind for virtuous actions, and inspires to emulation in good deeds. It is by means of this kind of writing that the broadest contrasts between right and wrong are made, and so presented to the reader that he cannot but love the one while he abhors the other. Who can read one of Miss Sedgwick’s admirable little books—“The Poor Rich Man, and the Rich Poor Man,” “Live and Let Live,” or “Home,”—without rising from its perusal with healthier views of life, and a more earnest desire in all things to do justly and to love mercy. Of this class of books there are a great many. The novels and tales of Miss Edgeworth, Miss Bremer, Mrs. Howitt, and Mrs. Opie, are good, and may be read with not only pleasure, but profit, by every young lady. The time spent in their perusal will not be lost. Indeed, some portion of the time occupied in reading just such books, is necessary to a well-balanced mind. In reading history, we sympathize only with masses of people, or admire some powerful leader; books of philosophy lift the mind up into an abstract region of thought; and poetry warms, inspires, and delights the imagination, while it purifies and refines the taste. All these are necessary to right intellectual culture; they form the very groundwork, solid walls, and inward garniture of a well-educated mind. But if reading be confined to these alone, there is danger of becoming cold and unsympathizing—of living in an intellectual world, more than in a real world of people, with like thoughts and like affections with ourselves. It is here that well-wrought fiction comes in with a humanizing tendency; giving to man a love for his fellow-man, and inspiring him with a wish to do good. In history, travels, and biography, we see man on the outside, as it were, and regard him at a distance, as a thinking and effective being; but in fiction, we perceive that he is fashioned in all things as we are; that he has like hopes and fears, joys and sorrows, and like aspirations after the good and the true, and we are gradually led to feel with and for him as a brother,—we hold him by the hand, we look in his face, we see the very pulsations of his heart. All this is good—all this is necessary to the true formation of character.

But for a young lady to limit her reading to this order of books, or even to spend a large part of the time allotted to reading to their perusal, will hinder her advancement in mental improvement. She will be very apt, also, to sink into the mere waste of sympathy toward ideal personages, without seeing in them types of real classes that are in the world, and all around her.

All right improvement of the mind will depend upon the leading motive which a young lady has in view, when she reads, thinks, or observes, with a careful eye, what passes around her. If her end be to acquire the power of conversing intelligently on various topics, and of exhibiting an acquaintance with books, in order to appear well in society, or to gain the reputation of being an intellectual and well-read woman, her advancement will not be as real as she supposes. All knowledge has its appropriate sphere of action, and that is in the doing of something useful; and until it comes into this its true sphere, it never rises into intelligence. If therefore, a woman reads and thinks merely with an end to be thought wise, she never becomes more than a mere pedant, who betrays, on all occasions, the shallowness of her pretensions; but if she use the truth she acquires in seeking to advance the cause of truth for the sake of the power it gives to do good, then is she in the way of becoming intelligent and wise.

A woman of true intelligence is a blessing at home, in her circle of friends, and in society. Wherever she goes, she carries with her a health-giving influence. There is a beautiful harmony about her character that at once inspires a respect which soon warms into love. The influence of such a woman upon society is of the most salutary kind. She strengthens right principles in the virtuous, incites the selfish and indifferent to good actions, and gives to even the light and frivolous a taste for food more substantial than the frothy gossip with which they seek to recreate their minds.

To give particular rules for self-improvement, and to specify the books to be read, and the order of reading them, is a thing not easily done. Indeed, what would be a right order for one to pursue, would not suit another; and therefore we shall not attempt to lay down any rules on this subject. Extensive reading is all very good; but right thinking on what we read, even if the amount be small, is far better. The only sound advice we are prepared to give is, for a young lady to suffer herself to be attracted towards the class of intelligent persons which she will always find in society, and to which we have alluded in this chapter. If she permit herself to become interested in the subjects that interest them, and be guided by what they mainly approve, she will find no difficulty in the choice of books. And if she seek improvement more from a love of truth than to be thought intelligent, she will soon be able to see truth so clearly in the light of her own understanding, as to be at no loss in making right discriminations on nearly all subjects that are presented to her mind.