Anecdotes of Great Musicians/Anecdote 32
32.—TUNING UP.
An audience which listens to an amateur orchestra, and, unfortunately, the same is true of some which are professional, frequently has to go through the aural agony of hearing the instruments "tune up." This process, when conducted in a haphazard way, is most excruciating, and the effect is to give sensitive nerves an unpleasant shock at the very beginning of a concert, which it takes some very good playing to counteract.
This is also true of some solo players. I have in mind quite a good Teutonic violinist, of Boston, who arouses his hearers' musical wrath in this way for several minutes before he succeeds in satisfying his exacting ear. Perhaps the process is prolonged to show the delicate adjustment of that organ. Who knows?
But there is, ordinarily, no necessity for such a scratching and blowing prelude. The tuning might and should be done before the audience assembles, and if there is any "touching up" to be done afterward, it should be in the most pianissimo manner possible.
The Boston Symphony Orchestra sets a good example in this matter, as in many others musical. In the days of the old Music Hall there was set in continual vibration by electricity a large tuning fork, which, when desired, sounded an uninterrupted "A." Each man as he entered tuned his instrument to this fork, and the result was that when the orchestra gathered on the stage every man was ready to go to work without an agonizing process of pitch adjustment to inflict on his hearers.
Händel realized the necessity of a preliminary "tuning up" period, and used to have all things ready before the concert. But on one occasion some practical joker did not neglect the opportunity offered to him, and the result was an opening chord not as harmonious as the music of the spheres.
Each instrument had been tuned at the close of the rehearsal. The orchestra returned for the performance, had taken their seats, and pompous Mr. Händel had stepped to the conductor's desk and lifted his baton; at the proper instant the opening fortissimo chord was played. But such a chord! It was discord itself! Every instrument had been thrown out of tune by some person intent more on provoking mirth than music. Handel raved. He jumped from his stand, and, after upsetting the drums and a double-bass, rushed across the stage, losing his wig on the way, and snorting with rage and vowing vengeance on the one "vat take such vicked liberty!"