Anne's Terrible Good Nature (Collection)/A Day in the Life of a Shilling
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SHILLING
Has it ever occurred to you through how many hands a piece of money passes in the course of a day, a week, a month, and what it does for its owners during that time? I am fortunately in the position to be able to tell you of the adventures of a shilling of my acquaintance during a single day; and the story will show you how busy a piece of silver can be.
"Let me see, you want an ordinary day," the shilling said. "Of course, sometimes I am not busy at all—I just lie all the time in a till or a drawer at the Bank (we hate being at the Bank on Sundays), or I may belong for the time being to a miser, or I may be locked up in a money-box. (Children have no notion how irksome it is to an active intelligent coin to be put away in a dark money-box for weeks and weeks, with no recreation but an occasional rattle.) But I will tell you my adventures on a rather special day on which I not only went to church, but to a race-meeting, and was lost into the bargain. I was not busier then than I have been at other times, but I had rather more ups and downs than a day usually sees.
"When I woke it was quite light, and as I lay on the dressing-table with all the other coins the sunshine came through the chinks of the blind and made me pleasantly warm. Not so warm as I am in a pocket, but still very comfortable, especially as I had been cold in the night.
"It was a new room to me, and I was very glad to see it, or, indeed, to see anything again, since for nearly a year I had been locked up in a little girl's money-box, with no one to talk to but a few low pennies and a very rude little threepenny bit, who squeaked his impertinences into my ear all day long. Every now and then another penny would come tumbling in among us with a crash, sometimes bruising us horribly, but never any real gentlefolk, not even a sixpence. Luckily, however, this little girl's mother had the sense to have a birthday, and so at last I was taken out, to be exchanged at a flower-shop for a pot of musk.
"I lay in the flower-shop till for an hour or so, and then a nice-looking gentleman with grey hair came in for some pink carnations for a lady on Campden Hill, and I was given to him as change. He put me in his pocket, and there I remained till he came home, when I was placed on the dressing table with all the other coins.
"I was the only shilling, the others being a very old half-crown, quite deaf and short-tempered, a tired florin, some more vulgar pennies (pennies can be very coarse), and a sovereign, who was too proud even to look at us and at once went to sleep.
"I don't know what I should have done for company had it not been for a very affable silver-backed hair-brush on the table close to me, who told me one or two interesting stories of his youth and the grand people he used to see when he was lying in a Bond-Street window. He was in the midst of the romance of a very giddy tortoise-shell comb whom he had once loved, when the gentleman got up and began to brush his hair, and when he set the brush down again it was too far off for conversation. These are the little things that human beings do not think of, but which mean so much to us. We always like to be put close together according to our metal, gold near gold, silver near silver, and so on, and we like, also, to keep near our own values too—half-crowns near half-crowns, and pennies near pennies (although now and then I will admit I have heard some very funny and enlightening things from copper, even from halfpennies, although it is true that they do drop their h's and are often exceedingly unwashed).
"Well, to get on with my story: when the gentleman had finished dressing he put us all into his pockets again and went downstairs. Me he put in his left-hand trouser pocket with the half-crown and the florin; the pennies in his right, and the sovereign in his waistcoat. And here let me say that it is much more comfortable to be a man's money than a woman's. Men put us in their pockets and keep us cosy: women put us in purses, where we can hardly breathe.
"Directly after breakfast my gentleman hurried off to the Notting Hill Gate Tube station, and pushed me through a pigeon-hole to the ticket-seller, who laid me on the counter before him with a great many other coins all spread out. Before, however, I could say anything more than just 'How do you do?' to them, I was taken up again and given in change to another traveller.
"This traveller had a little boy with him on his way back to school from Liverpool Street, and I very nearly passed into his possession as a tip, but just at the last moment the traveller thought better of it, and instead of giving the little boy a single shilling gave him half a crown (as all fathers and uncles ought to do at the very least), and so I went back into his pocket again.
"After the boy had gone I had a busy two hours in the city. I was first paid away to a 'bus conductor, and was given to him in change to a lady on her way to a special service at St. Paul's. I was there laid in a collection plate, which usually means a long rest for us; but happily one of the clergymen wanted a pound's worth of silver, and I had the luck to be among it. He paid me to a cabman who took him to the Royal Academy, and by this cabman I was soon after given as change to a gentleman whom he drove from the Albany to Waterloo. This gentleman dropped me into a pocket full of money and settled down in the corner of a railway carriage to read the paper and smoke a cigar.
"'Do you know where we are going?' said one of the other coins to me. 'We are going to the races. We may have some fun.'
"This pleased me very much, for I had never been to the races in my life, but had heard much about them from time to time.
"'Sometimes we make a lot of money for our master,' the coin continued, 'but sometimes he loses us for ever.'
"'Yes,' said a very fat five-shilling piece, who was hurting me horribly by the way he leaned against me, 'but, of course, you [meaning me] are too small to make any money. It is fellows like me, and sovereigns and half-sovereigns, that make the money.'
"None the less, as it happened, I made some too, although I had a dreadful shock for a moment when my master gave me to a man for a race-card, and I thought I should never have any fun at all. Luckily, however, the race-card man was thirsty, and I found my way into a till, and then I was given as change to a waiter, and soon after realized that I was in the till of the members' restaurant.
"There, for the first time in my life, I met a bank-note. The delicate, fragile thing! She was very proud, but quite affable. We call them Duchesses. You should hear them rustle as they move! They don't live with us, of course; they live in leather cases in the more fashionable parts of the clothing, but now and then we find ourselves in the same plate at restaurants, and I tell you it is a great moment for a shilling when that happens. How one's heart beats! That was what occurred on this very occasion. I went out of the till in company with this beautiful, refined creature, and the gentleman to whom we were carried gave me back to the waiter as a tip.
"No sooner was lunch over than the waiter ran out on the course with me in his hand, and went up to a man who was standing on a box, and asked: 'What price Flatiron?' and the man said, 'Tens.' Then the waiter handed me to the man, and he dropped me into a bag full of other money, both silver and gold, and gave the waiter a ticket.
"'Who are you on?' the other coins asked me eagerly. I had no notion what they meant. 'What is the name of your horse?' they said. This puzzled me even more, and I said I didn't know any names of horses, but the waiter had asked about a flatiron. 'That's it,' said the others; 'that's your horse.' And then I found that several others of them were there for Flatiron's sake too, while the others were for other horses, such as Saucy Sally, and Pink Pearl, and Rufus, and See-you-later.
"Every moment other coins came tumbling in, and then the race began. We could not see it, of course, but we could hear the cries of the crowd, and we rattled about in our excitement as the names of our own horses reached us. At last it was over, and we heard the man groan out that Flatiron had won. And very soon the waiter came for his winnings, and a half-sovereign and I were handed to him. I tell you I was proud to think that I had been the means of bringing one of those conceited half-sovereigns to life again, but he would not even say 'Thank you.'
A BLUE RIBBON WAS THREADED THROUGH ME, AND I WAS HUNG ROUND A LITTLE GIRL'S NECK.
"The waiter spat on both of us for luck, and put us in his pocket, and then went off to a refreshment tent, where I was pushed across a wet counter and again dropped into a till, quite damp, but happily I was taken out again before I could catch cold, and given as change to the chauffeur of a motor-car.
"Almost immediately after that the chauffeur started his car and drove his master back to London. I could not see anything—a coin very rarely can—but I felt the vibration of the engine, and every now and then I heard the horn blow.
"The interesting part of the ride, however, was the talk I had with a shilling with a hole in it. 'Whatever you do,' he said, 'don't ever let them bore a hole in you. Life isn't worth living after that. It's not so much that it hurts as that no one will take you. I had a hole bored in me when I was quite new, and a blue ribbon was threaded through me, and I was hung round a little girl's neck. That was all right, especially as we used to go to all kinds of places together, even to the pantomime and "Peter Pan," and from where I used to hang I could see too; but one day, in a crowd in London, a thief with a pair of scissors cut the ribbon and pulled me off, and I have never been happy since. I have been in many persons' possession, but I see nothing of life, because I change hands only at night. When it is light the people won't have me. They call out, "Hi, this shilling won't do!" and push me back again. I can't buy anything by day at all, but at night I am slipped into cabmen's hands. It is very uncomfortable for me, for not only am I condemned to a kind of furtive, dishonest life, but I have to hear the dreadful things the cabmen say when they discover me.
"'There is only one worse thing,' he went on, 'and that is to be a bad shilling. But there aren't many of those made, because it doesn't pay to make false coins so small. The coiners spend their time on bad half-crowns and florins, which cost hardly any more to make than a shilling and are worth ever so much more.'
"He went on to tell me of a bad half-crown that he once knew which was now nailed to the counter of a tobacconist's in Bermondsey. 'Think of it,' he said, 'nailed to a counter. Never able to move again: never able to buy another thing for ever and ever!' We both shuddered.
"Directly the car was in its garage the chauffeur hurried to his lodgings and changed his clothes and went out to enjoy himself. It was now about half-past six. He put his money into different pockets, and I found myself with half a crown and a florin. They were fairly sociable, especially when they knew I had won money at the races, but I had their company only a very short time, for suddenly I began to feel myself sinking. I cried out for help, but all in vain; and in a moment I fell with a rush and knew no more until I awoke to find myself in the mud of the street.
"There was a hole in the pocket!
"I lay there for a long time in an agony of fear that I should be run over. I heard the beat of horses' feet close to me and the rumbling of wagons that shook the ground, and now and then a motor-car dashed by and turned me cold with fear. But as no harm came to me I realized that I must have fallen—I could not see for mud—very near the gutter; perhaps quite in it.
"'I do wish some one would pick me up,' I thought, 'but I don't see how they can, for if I can't see them for mud, they can't see me for mud.' Just as I was saying this to myself, I felt a great splash on my face, and then another and another. A shower, and a very heavy one, had begun. In spite of the wet this made me very happy, for I was gradually being washed clean, and 'now,' thought I, 'I shall be seen.'
"It happened exactly as I guessed, for almost immediately afterwards a hand pounced down on me and picked me up, and I heard a man's voice say, 'Well, I'm blowed if it ain't a bob!' I almost screamed as he put me between his teeth and bit me. 'And a good 'un too,' he added, and then addressing the woman with him, who was leading a little boy, he said: 'Come on, old girl, and we'll have some dinner after all,' and we all went off to the nearest Lockhart's refreshment-room and sat down at a table by the fire.
"'What shall it be, missis?' the man asked. 'Two pots of splash for me and you, and three doorsteps and a mug of chalk for his nibs?'
"The woman said that would do nicely, and the man went off to get the things from the counter, and as he had to give me in payment that was the last I saw of him and his family; for which I was sorry, for they were nice kindly sort of people although so poor. But I was able to see what he meant by his strange words, for he took back with him two cups of coffee, and three thick slices of bread and butter, and a mug of milk.
"Half an hour later I was given in change to a jolly navvy who was having an evening out with his girl. They had finished their supper and were now on their way to the circus. He held me in his hand until we got to the gallery door, and then I was pushed through a little grating and once again flung into a crowded till.
"There I felt I was doomed to stay for some time, for it was late and no one else was likely to come in. However, I did not mind much, for I was very tired and my head buzzed. 'A shilling's,' I said to myself, as I lay there, 'is a very disappointing life. Here am I lying in the till of a circus ticket-office and seeing nothing, while my late owner, who but for me would not be at the circus at all, is having all the fun.' Where I lay I could faintly hear the band and the laughter. 'But for me,' I continued, 'why, but for me and other coins people couldn't do anything at all. It is we who give them their power. Just see what I have done this very day since I got up—I have bought tickets and food and drink and cab-rides for many people; I have been put into the plate at church and I have won ten shillings at the races; I have given pleasure and profit; I have fed the hungry; and I have just sent two worthy persons into the gallery of this circus. Not a bad day's work!'
"So saying I composed myself to sleep, but just at that moment one of the managers came round to ask for some change, and once again I was sent out into the world. The manager put on his hat and overcoat and started for home, giving me for his ticket at the station, where I passed out again as change to a gentleman who was going to Notting Hill Gate, who put me in his pocket and did not take me out until he went to bed. And would you believe it? when I looked round I found I was on the very same dressing-table on which I had awakened in the morning, with my friend the silver-backed brush beside me.
"'Then he didn't spend you to-day?' said the hair-brush, as soon as the man had gone to bed, and we could get a little time to ourselves.
"'Oh, didn't he?' I exclaimed. 'Why, I've been all over London, in all kinds of pockets to-day. I'll tell you all about it.'
"Which I did; so that you and the hair-brush are now equally wise."
And there the shilling's story ended.
But did it ever occur to you before what a traveller a coin can be, and that it is quite possible to get again at night the same coin you parted with in the morning?