Awful Disclosures of Maria Monk/Chapter 8
CHAPTER VIII.
RELIGIOUS LIES.
I WILL now give from memory a general description of the interior of the Convent of Black Nuns, except the few apartments which I never saw. I may be inaccurate in some things, as the apartments and passages of that spacious building are numerous and various; but I am willing to risk my credit for truth and sincerity on the general correspondence between my description and things as they are. And this would, perhaps, be as good a case as any by which to test the truth of my statements, were it possible to obtain access to the interior. It is well known that none but veiled nuns, the bishop and priests, are ever admitted; and, of course, that I cannot have seen what I profess to describe, if I had not been a black nun. The priests who read this book will acknowledge to themselves the truth of my description; but will, of course, deny it to the world,
and probably exert themselves to destroy my credit I offer to every reader the following description, knowing that time may possibly throw open those secret recesses, and allow the entrance of those who can satisfy themselves of its truth. Some of my declarations may be thought deficient in evidence, which must of necessity be in the present state of things. But here is a kind of evidence on which I rely, as I see how unquestionable and satisfactory it must prove, whenever it shall be obtained.
If the interior of the Black Nunnery, whenever it shall be examined, is materially different from the following description, then I shall claim no confidence of my readers. If it resemble it, they will, I presume, place confidence in some of those declarations, on which I may never be corroborated by true and living witnesses.
I am sensible that great changes may be made in the furniture of apartments; that new walls may be constructed, or old ones removed; and I have been informed that masons have been employed in the Nunnery since I left it. I well know that entire changes cannot be made, and that enough must remain to substantiate my description, whenever the truth shall be known.
THE FIRST STOREY.
Beginning at the extremity of the western wing of the Convent, towards Notre Dame street, on the first storey, there is —
1. The nuns' private chapel, adjoining which is a passage to a small projection of the building extending from the upper storey to the ground, with small windows. Into the passage we were required to bring wood from the yard, and pile it for use.
2. A large community-room, with plain benches fixed against the wall to sit and lower ones in front to place our feet upon. There is a fountain in the passage near the chimney at the further end, for washing the hands and face, with a green curtain sliding on a rod before it. This passage leads to the old nuns' sleeping-room on the right, and the Superior's sleeping-room beyond it, as well as to a stair-case which conduct to the nuns' sleeping-room above. At the end of the passage is a door opening into —
3. The dining-room; this is larger than the community-room, and has three long tables for eating, and a collection of little pictures, a crucifix, and an image of the infant Saviour in a glass case. This apartment has four doors, by the first of which we are supposed to have entered, while one opens to a pantry, and the third and fourth to the two next apartments.
4. A large community-room, with tables for sewing, and a stair-case on the opposite left-hand corner.
5. A community-room for prayer, used by both nuns and novices. In the farther right-hand corner is a small room, partitioned off, called the room for the examination of conscience, which I had visited while a novice by permission of the Superior, and where nuns and novices occasionally resorted to reflect on their character, usually in preparation for the sacrament, or when they had transgressed some of the rules. This little room was hardly large enough to contain half a dozen persons at a time.
6. Next, beyond, is a large community-room for Sundays. A door leads to the yard, and thence to a gate in the wall on the cross street.
7. Adjoining this is a sitting-room, fronting on the cross street, with two windows, and a store room on the side opposite them. There is but little furniture, and that very plain.
8. From this room a door leads into what I call the wax-room, as it contains many figures in wax, not intended for sale. There we sometimes used to pray, or meditate on the Saviour's passion. This room projects from the main building; leaving it, you enter a long passage, with clipboards on the right, in which are stored crockeryware, knives and forks, and other articles of table furniture, to replace those worn out or broken — all of the plainest description; also, shovels, tongs, &c. This passage leads to —
9. A corner room, with a few benches, &c, and a door leading to a gate in the street. Here some of the medicines were kept, and persons were often admitted on business, or to obtain medicines with tickets from the priests; and waited till the Superior or an old nun could be sent for. Beyond this room we never were allowed to go; and I cannot speak from personal knowledge of what came next.
THE SECOND STOREY.
Beginning, as before, at the western extremity of the north wing, but on the second storey, the farthest apartment in that direction which I ever entered was —
1. The nuns' sleeping-room, which I have described. Here is an access to the projection mentioned in speaking of the first storey. The stairs by which we came up to bed are at the farther end of the room; and near them a crucifix and font of holy water. A door at the end of the room opens into a passage with two small rooms, and closets between them, containing bedclothes. Next you enter —
2. A small community-room, beyond which is a passage with a narrow staircase, seldom used, which leads to the fourth community-room, in the fourth storey. Following the passage just mentioned you enter by a door —
3. A little sitting-room furnished in the following manner: with chairs, a sofa on the north side covered with a red-figured cover and fringe; a table in the middle, commonly bearing one or two books, an ink-stand, pen, &c. At one corner is a little projection into the room, caused by a staircase leading from, above to the floor below, without any communication with the second storey. This room has a door opening upon a staircase leading on the yard, on the opposite side is a gate opening into the cross street By this way the physician is admitted, except when he comes later than usual. When he comes in, he sits a little while, until a nun goes into the adjoining nuns' sick-room, to see if all is ready, and returns to admit him. After prescribing for the patient he goes no further, but returns by the way he enters; and these are the only rooms into which he is admitted.
4. The nuns' sick-room adjoins the little sitting-room on the east, and has four windows towards the north, with beds ranged in two rows from end to end, and a few more between them, near the opposite extremity. The door to the sitting-room swings to the left, and behind it is a table, while a glass case contains a wax figure of the infant Saviour, with several sheep. Near the north-eastern corner are two doors, one of which opens into a narrow passage, leading to the head of the great staircase that conducts to the cross street. By this passage the physician sometimes finds his way to the sick-room, when he comes late. He rings the bell at the gate, which I was told had a concealed pull, known only to him and the priests, proceeds upstairs and through the passage, rapping three times at the door of the sick-room, which is opened by a nun in attendance, after she had given one rap in reply. He returns by the same way.
5. Next, beyond the sick-room, is a large unoccupied apartment, half divided by two partitions, which leave an open space in the middle. Here some of the old nuns meet in the day time.
6. A door from this apartment opens into another, not appropriated to any particular use, hut containing a table, where medicines are sometimes prepared by an old nun. Passing through this room you enter a passage, with doors on its four sides: that on the left, which is kept fastened on the inside, leads to the staircase and gate; and that in the front to private sick-rooms.
7. That on the right leads to another, appropriated to nuns suffering with the most loathsome disease. There were usually a number of straw mattresses in that room, as I well know, having helped to carry them in, after the yardman had filled them. A door beyond enters into a store-room, which extends also beyond this apartment. On the right another door opens into another passage, crossing which you enter by a door —
8. A room with a bed and screen in one corner, on which nuns were laid to be examined before their introduction into the sick-room last mentioned. Another door, opposite, opens into a passage, in which is a staircase leading down.
9. Beyond this is a spare room, sometimes used to store apples, boxes of different things, &c.
10. Returning now to the passage which opens on one side upon the stairs, to the gate, we enter the only remaining door, which leads into an apartment usually occupied by some of the old nuns, and frequently by the Superior.
11. and 12. Beyond this are two more sick-rooms, in one of which those nuns stay who are waiting their accouchment, and in the other those who have passed it.
13. The next is a small sitting-room, where a priest waits to baptise the infants previous to their murder. A passage leads from this room on the left, by the doors of two succeeding apartments, neither of which have I ever entered.
14. The first of them is the "holy retreat" or room occupied by the priests while suffering the penalty of their licentiousness.
15. The other is a sitting-room to which they have access. Beyond these the passage leads to two rooms containing closets for the storage of various articles; and two others, where persons are received who come on business.
The public hospitals succeed, and extend a considerable distance to the extremity of the building. By a public entrance in that part priests often come into the Nunnery; and I have often seen some of them thereabouts, who must have entered that way. Priests often get into the "holy retreat" without exposing themselves to the view of other parts of the Convent, and have been first known to be there by the yard-nuns being sent to the Seminary for their clothes.
The Congregational Nunnery was founded by a nun, called Sister Bourgeoise. She taught a school in Montreal, and left property for the foundation of a Convent. Her body is buried, and her heart is kept under the Nunnery in an iron chest, which has been shown to me, with the assurance that it continues in perfect preservation, although she has been dead more than one hundred and fifty years. In the chapel is the following inscription: —
"Sœur Bourgeoise, Fondatrice du convent." (Sister Bourgeoise, Founder of the Convent.)
Nothing was more common than for the Superior to step hastily into our community-room, while numbers of us were assembled there, and hastily communicate her wishes in words like these: —
"Here are the parents of such a novice; come with me and bear me out in this story." She would then mention the outlines of a tissue of falsehoods she had just invented that we might be prepared to fabricate circumstances, and throw in whatever else might favour the deception. This was justified and highly commended, by what we were instructed.
It was a common remark at the initiation of a new nun into the Black Nunnery to receive the black veil, that the introduction of another novice into the Convent as a veiled nun, always caused the introduction of a veiled nun into heaven as a saint, which was on account of the disappearance of some of the older nuns always at the entrance of new ones.
To witness the scenes which often occurred between us and strangers would have struck a person most powerfully, if he had known how truth was set at nought. The Superior, with a serious and dignified air and a pleasant voice and aspect, would commence a recital of things most favourable to the character of the absent novice, representing her equally fond of her situation, and beloved by the other inmates. The tale told by the Superior, however unheard before might have been any of her statements, was then attested by us, who in every way we could think of, confirmed her declarations beyond the reach of doubt.
Sometimes the Superior would intrust the management of such a case to the nuns, to habituate us to the practice in which she was so highly accomplished, or to relieve herself of what would have been a serious burden to most other persons, and to ascertain whether she could depend upon us. Often have I seen her throw open a door, and say, in a hurried manner,
"Who can tell the best story?"
One point on which we had received particular instructions was, the nature of falsehoods. I have heard many a speech, and many a sermon; and I was led to believe that it was of great importance, one on which it was a duty to be well informed, as well as to act.
"What!" exclaimed a priest one day — "what, a nun of your age, and not know the difference between a wicked and a religious lie?" He then went on, as had been done many times in my hearing, to show the essential difference between the two different kinds of falsehoods. A lie told merely for the injury of another, for our own interest alone, or for no object at all, he painted as a sin worthy of penance. But a lie told for the good of the church or convent, was meritorious, and the telling of it a duty. And of this class of lies there are many varieties and shades. This doctrine had been inculcated on me and my companions, more times than I can enumerate. We often saw the practice of it, and were frequently made to take part in it. Whenever anything which the Superior thought important, could be most conveniently accomplished by falsehood, she resorted to it without scruple.
There was a class of cases, in which she more frequently relied on deception than any other.
The friends of novices frequently applied at the Convent to see them or to inquire after their welfare. It was common for them to be politely refused an interview, on some account or other, a mere pretext; and then the Superior sought to make as favourable an impression as possible on the visitors. Sometimes she would make up a story on the spot, and tell the strangers; requiring some of us to confirm it in the most convincing way. At other times she would make over to us the task of deceiving, and we were commended in proportion to our ingenuity and success.
Some nun usually showed her submission by immediately stepping forward. She would then add, that the parents of such a novice, whom she named, were in waiting, and it was necessary that they should be told such and such things. To perform so difficult a task well, was considered a difficult duty, and it was one of the most certain ways to gain the favour of the Superior. Whoever volunteered to make a story on the spot, was sent immediately to tell it, and the other nuns present with her under strict injunctions to uphold her in everything she might state. The Superior, on all such occasions, when she did not herself appear, hastened to the apartment adjoining, there to listen through the thin partition, to hear whether all performed their parts aright. It was not uncommon for her to go rather further, when she wanted to give such explanations as she could have desired.
She would then enter abruptly, ask, "Who can tell a good story this morning?" and hurry us off without a moment's delay, to do our best at a venture, without waiting for instructions. It would be curious, could a stranger from the "wicked world" outside the Convent, witness such a scene. One of the nuns who felt in a favourable humour to undertake the proposed task, would step forward, and signify readiness in the usual way, by a knowing wink of one eye, and a slight toss of the head.
"Well, go and do the best you can." the Superior would say; "and all the rest of you mind and swear to it." The latter part of the order was always performed; for in every case, all the nuns present appeared as unanimous witnesses of everything that was uttered by the spokeswoman.
We were constantly hearing it repeated, that we must never again look upon ourselves as our own; but must remember, that we were solemnly and irrecoverably devoted to God. I cannot speak to every particular with equal freedom: but I wish my readers to understand the condition in which we were placed, and the means used to reduce us to what we had to submit to. Not only were we required to perform the several tasks imposed upon us at work, prayers and penances, under the idea that we were performing solemn duties to our Maker, but everything else which was required of us, we were constantly told was indispensable in His sight. The priests, we admitted, were the servants of God, especially appointed by His authority to teach us our duty, to absolve us from sin, and lead us to heaven. Without their assistance, we had allowed, we could never enjoy the favour of God; unless they administered the sacrament to us, we could not enjoy everlasting happiness. Having acknowledged all this, we had no objection to urge against admitting any other demand that might be made by them. If we thought an act ever so criminal, the Superior would tell us that the priests acted under the direct sanction of God, and could not sin. Of course, then, it could not be wrong to comply with any of their requests, because they could not demand anything but what was right. On the contrary, to refuse to do anything they asked would necessarily be sinful. Such doctrines admitted, and such practices performed, it will not seem wonderful that we often felt something of their preposterous character.
Sometimes we took pleasure in ridiculing some of the favourite themes of our teachers; and I recollect one subject particularly, that afforded us merriment. It may seem irreverent in me to give the account, but I do it to show how things of a solemn nature were sometimes treated by women bearing the title of saints. A Canadian novice, who spoke very broken English, one day remarked that she was performing some duty "for the God." This peculiar expression had something ridiculous to our ears: and it was soon repeated again and again, in application to various ceremonies which we had to perform. Mad Jane Ray seized upon it with avidity, and with her aid it soon took the place of a by-word in conversation, so that we were constantly reminding each other that we were doing this thing and that thing "for the God." Nor did we stop here; when the Superior called upon us to bear witness to one of her religious lies, or to fabricate the most spurious one the time would admit; we were sure to be reminded, on our way to the stranger's room, that we were doing it "for the God." And so it was when other things were mentioned — everything which belonged to our condition was spoken of in similar terms.
I have hardly detained the reader long enough to give him a just impression of the stress laid on confession. It is one of the great points to which our attention was constantly directed. We were directed to keep a strict and constant watch over our thoughts; to have continually before our minds the rules of the Convent, to remember every devotion, and tell all, even the smallest, at confession, either to the Superior or to the priest. My mind was thus kept in a continual state of activity which proved very wearisome; and it required the constant exertion of our teachers to keep us up to the practice they inculcated.
Another tale recurs to me, of those which were frequently told us, to make us feel the importance of unreserved confession.
A nun of our Convent, who had hidden some sin from her confessor, died suddenly, and without any one to confess her. Her sisters assembled to pray for the peace of her soul, when she appeared and said, that it would be of no use, but rather troublesome to her, as her pardon was impossible. The doctrine is, that prayers made for souls guilty of unconfessed sin, do but sink them deeper in hell; and this is the reason for not praying for Protestants.
The authority of the priest in everything, and the enormity of every act which opposes it, were also impressed upon our minds by our teachers A "Father" told us the following story:
A man once died who had failed to pay some money which the priest had asked of him; he was condemned to be burnt in purgatory until he should pay it, but had permission to come back to this world, and take a human body to work in. He came again on earth, and hired himself to a rich man as a labourer. He worked all day, with the fire burning in him, unseen by other people; but while he was in bed that night a girl perceiving the smell of brimstone, looked through a crack in the wall, and saw him covered with flames. She informed his master, who questioned him the next morning, and found that he was secretly suffering the pains of purgatory for neglecting to pay a sum of money to the priest. He, therefore, furnished him with the amount due; it was paid, and the servant went off immediately to heaven. The priest cannot forgive any debt due unto him, because it is the Lord's estate.
While at confession, I was urged to hide nothing from the priests, they said that they already knew what was in my heart, but would not tell, because it was necessary for me to confess it. I believed that the priests were acquainted with my thoughts; and often stood in awe of them. They often told me that they had the power to strike me dead at any moment.