Book of Etiquette/Volume 1/Part 1/Chapter 8
CHAPTER VIII
CHRISTENINGS
ANNOUNCING THE BIRTH OF THE CHILD
When a child is born the mother and father announce the fact to their friends by means of cards. These may be obtained in the prevailing style from any good stationer. Sometimes only one card is sent bearing the names of the parents and that of the child or the word, "Son" or "Daughter" if the name has not been decided upon. Another fashion which has become standard is the use of two cards, one somewhat larger than the ordinary visiting card and attached to it by a tiny white ribbon one very much smaller bearing the name of the infant. There are also dainty and attractive cards specially designed for the occasion. While these are not so formal as the plain white cards they are, when chosen with discrimination, very delightful and almost as personal as a note. Notes are usually sent only to one's most intimate friends.
RESPONDING TO THE ANNOUNCEMENT
Friends of the parents will, of course, hasten to congratulate them upon their good fortune. They may send flowers, magazines, jellies, etc., to the mother and to the youngster some little article pleasing because of its beauty or its utility. Gifts are not necessary, however, and a warm and sincere note expressing one's happiness at the good fortune of the parents is quite sufficient. The note must not be perfunctory. You must remember that the child of your friend is the most wonderful infant that ever came to earth to live (and if your private opinion is to the contrary it is best to keep it private), and that conventional phrases are entirely inadequate. On the other hand it will not do to gush. Simplicity and sincerity are the best means to attain the end desired.
GODPARENTS
In the old world the selection of godparents is a very important duty and the office of the godfather and the godmother is actual rather than theoretical; but in this country it has a tendency to become a mere form. This should not be the case, for it is a high tribute to a friend to ask him to be the godfather of one's child and it is often an excellent thing for the child. It assures him at least one friend older than himself who has a very special interest in his welfare.
There may be four sponsors, or two, as one chooses, but in America there are usually only two, a godfather and a godmother. Whenever possible they should be asked in person and they should never be asked through a formally engraved card. For the sponsors are always intimate friends of the mother and father or relatives for whom they feel the highest regard. It is the interest of the child that is at stake and this should be taken into consideration by the parents before they make their final selection.
The duties of the godparents are not onerous. They promise always to befriend the child and at the time of the christening they present it with a gift of some sort—jewelry, garments, carriage or toilette accessories. They are present at the baptism, if possible, and accompany the mother and father to the altar. The father and godfather have little to do beyond lending the grace of their presence to the occasion. The godmother carries the infant to the altar, resplendent in his christening robe, and at the proper time hands it to the clergyman. If there are no sponsors the office of the godmother at the church may be filled by the baby's nurse or by the mother herself.
INVITATIONS TO A CHRISTENING
The christening is rarely an elaborate affair and the only guests are relatives and close friends. If it is not too much of a tax on the mother it is very lovely for her to write personal notes to each guest asking him or her to be present at the ceremony. If there is to be a considerable number present engraved cards may be dispatched. Examples of both the formal and the informal invitation are given below:
June 6, 19—.My dear Grace,
The baby is to be christened next Sunday at four o'clock at the Brick Church and both Harry and I are anxious to have you present. I think Harry Jr. would be also if he were old enough to know what it is all about.
Cordially yours,Alice F. Duncan.
Mr. and Mrs. Harry T. Duncan
request the pleasure of your company
at the christening of their son
on Sunday afternoon, June 6
at four o'clock
at the Brick Church.
A CHURCH CHRISTENING
If the christening is to be an occasion of great formality and elaboration the church should be decorated, not elaborately as for a wedding but simply and prettily with smilax and ferns and delicate white flowers or in some other way that will indicate that the event is for a child and not for an older person.
The child's christening robe should be simple but exquisite. He may be brought in more gracefully if he is carried on a pillow or a porte-bébé.
The mother usually wears a reception gown, hat, and gloves. The women sponsors are similarly dressed while the masculine guests wear the prescribed outfit for afternoon receptions, the cutaway coat, etc., unless the christening takes place in the summer when light flannels may be substituted.
THE HOUSE CHRISTENING
There is very little difference between a christening that takes place at home and one at church. The house should be decorated and a font may be placed in the drawing-room. The mother's gown is less formal than the one she would wear to the church but the other details are practically the same.
AFTER THE BAPTISM
After the ceremony is over and the youngster has been duly admired and sent back to the nursery, there may be a reception or tea or even a dinner or breakfast, according to the time of the christening, for the guests. If the baptism took place at church the guests may drive immediately from there to the home, allowing the automobile containing the mother and father to precede them by a few minutes. If it took place at home matters are simplified, for the guests may pass into another room or the font may be placed to one side.
If there is a breakfast or luncheon served the clergyman who performed the ceremony is invited to be present, and whether or not it is customary to ask a blessing he is requested to pronounce one. He enters the dining-room with the child's grandmother, or if both grandmothers are present, with the elder.
GIFTS
Each person who is invited to the christening is expected to remember the infant with a gift of some sort. In view of the fact that there is usually nothing that he needs and that he is too young to appreciate anything, many people give for the future rather than for the present. Sometimes a friend of the mother will give the infant daughter a silver spoon, adding duplicates each year after on its birthday or at Christmas until they form a complete set. Books which he will appreciate later may be given. Money in the form of gold pieces or checks is most appropriate and is one of the most popular of gifts. Carriage and toilette accessories, jewelry, etc., are, of course, suitable but one should make sure that there is an actual need for them. Most people nowadays live in a limited amount of space with neither a garret nor a cellar to store things in.