Diamonds To Sit On

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Diamonds To Sit On (1930)
by Ilya Ilf and Eugene Petrof, translated by Elizabeth Hill and Doris Mudie

Diamonds To Sit On

Chapter 1

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Ilya Ilf and Eugene Petrof4586218Diamonds To Sit On — Diamonds To Sit On1930Elizabeth Hill and Doris Mudie

DIAMONDS TO SIT ON

A RUSSIAN COMEDY OF ERRORS

by

ILYA ILF AND EUGENE PETROV

TRANSLATED FROM THE RUSSIAN BY

ELIZABETH HILL
and
DORIS MUDIE

HARPER & BROTHERS
PUBLISHERS

NEW YORK AND LONDON
MCMXXX

Originally published in Russian under the title

'dvenadtsat’ stul’ev’

(twelve chairs)

printed in great britain

Contents

CONTENTS

PART I

THE LION OF STARGOROD

chapter		page
I.	BEZENCHUK AND 'THE NYMPHS'	1
II.	THE DEATH OF MADAM PETUKHOV	9
III.	THE MIRROR OF SIN	16
IV.	THE MUSE OF DISTANT JOURNEYS	22
V.	THE GREAT SCHEMER	25
VI.	DIAMOND DREAMS	33
VII.	TRACES OF THE 'TITANIC'	38
VIII.	A NERVOUS THIEF	42
IX.	WHERE ARE YOUR LOCKS	51
X.	A LOCKSMITH, A PARROT, AND A FORTUNE-TELLER	57
XI.	THE ALPHABET OF 'THE MIRROR OF LIFE'	65
XII.	A PASSIONATE WOMAN—A POET'S DREAM	77
XIII.	MAY DAY	83
XIV.	THE SECRET UNION OF THE SWORD AND PLOUGH	90

PART II

IN MOSCOW

chapter		page
XV.	THE CHAIRS AND A HOSTEL	101
XVI.	QUARREL	107
XVII.	THE MUSEUM OF FURNITURE	110
XVIII.	WHERE ARE THE OTHERS?	118
XIX.	FROM PILLAR TO POST	123
XX.	THE AUCTION	133
XXI.	LITTLE ELLA	142
XXII.	ABSALOM VLADIMIROVICH IZNURENKOV	148
XXIII.	THE AUTOMOBILE CLUB	156
XXIV.	A CONVERSATION WITH A NAKED ENGINEER	164
XXV.	TWO VISITS	170
XXVI.	STARGOROD	175
XXVII.	HUSBAND AND WIFE	181
XXVIII.	POET	187
XXIX.	THE COLUMBUS THEATRE	191

PART III

MADAM PETUKHOV'S TREASURE

chapter		page
XXX.	A MAGIC NIGHT ON THE VOLGA	201
XXXI.	A SHADY PAIR	207
XXXII.	A LETTER	213
XXXIII.	EXPULSION FROM PARADISE	215
XXXIV.	THE INTERPLANETARY CHESS CONGRESS	219
XXXV.	ETCETERA	231
XXXVI.	THE VIEW ON TO THE MALACHITE POOL	236
XXXVII.	THE ENGINEER BRUNS	245
XXXVIII.	UNDER THE CLOUDS	253
XXXIX.	AN EARTHQUAKE	260
XL.	THE TREASURE	272

This work is a translation and has a separate copyright status to the applicable copyright protections of the original content.

Original:

This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published in 1928, before the cutoff of January 1, 1931.

The longest-living author of this work died in 1942, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 83 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.

Public domainPublic domainfalsefalse

Translation:

This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1931.

The longest-living author of this work died in 1996, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 29 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.

Public domainPublic domainfalsefalse